Atheists, how do you explain away my conversion testimony below, (if you dare)?

10 years ago when I was sacrificing puppies in service to my former lord and master, Satan, two men rushed into my dungeon, held guns to my head. They started to rape me and demanded money. With nothing left to lose, I fell to the floor and cried out to the Lord to save me! At that exact moment, I heard a loud CLICK and realized one of my attackers had pulled the trigger but his gun jammed! My other attacker screamed, “Something is holding me back, and it just told me it is an angel of the Lord! Let’s scram!” They ran out faster than a bat out of hell ha ha. I accepted the Lord as my savior right then and there and haven’t looked back since.

Update:

I used to be an atheist.

Update 2:

500 people were there to witness the miraculous event.

15 Answers

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  • 1 year ago
    Favorite Answer

    They do not know what they are doing, my child.

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Kill yourself.

  • 1 year ago

    Grow up.

  • 1 year ago

    Explain away? Why would I want to? It's so totally convincing that I've decided to convert on the spot! I mean, are you kidding me? What an inspiring, utterly believable story!! And now that you mention it, I remember reading about that after it happened! I think there was video, wasn't there? Video quickly suppressed by the Illuminati?

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  • Easy to explain. It is a made up BS story.

  • 1 year ago

    I woudnt even try i believe everything you wrote is a crock of **** in all truth ya see.

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Simple: You're a Poe who is titillated by posting fictional tripe that no one believes, not even you.

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    This is Yahoo Answers, not Yahoo Share Your Short Fiction.

  • 1 year ago

    That's pretty unconvincing fiction (kind of like a famous book I know about).

  • Petter
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    Make-believe.

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