Am I a bad person?

I am a really evil person. Someone called my pets ugly so I pushed my cat off my bed hard and take out my anger on my cats a lot, nothing? major, no real damage done, I always feel bad and give them hugs after and food, whatever they want, I wait for them to forgive me too, I feel unbelievably horrible and bad and... show more I am a really evil person. Someone called my pets ugly so I pushed my cat off my bed hard and take out my anger on my cats a lot, nothing?
major, no real damage done, I always feel bad and give them hugs after and food, whatever they want, I wait for them to forgive me too, I feel unbelievably horrible and bad and like they should not be anywhere near me but I love them, I would never do anything to kill them or put them in real danger but I get intrusive thoughts of shoving them in a microwave or chucking them out of a window, locking them outside, dumping them, doing really evil things, I NEVER WOULD!! Please do understand I will never go that far, I couldn’t. Someone just help and give advice, I don’t want them to go anywhere knowing in reality they’re treated better here than with someone evil who tortures them
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