Hello there, MsBittner. More like Ms "Bitter" when it comes to your feelings of Microsoft Word, am I right? Now, with that hilarious pun out of the way, allow me to introduce myself. My name is MikeyJamJams, and as a Master of Analysis, I would love to help you out.
First of all, I would like to give you a round of applause for taking the time to upgrade from Word 2003 to Word 2016. Change can certainly be a scary thing for people. It holds them back, cripples them in fear. I'm sure you were scared like everyone else Ms. Bitter, but you chose to face those fears, and for that I admire you. Not only that, but when you grew frustrated with the new changes, you kept at it without giving up. When it comes to technology that's really all you can do. Things will inevitably change, so it's worth taking the time trying to get used to the new changes, rather than putting off what's meant to be.
Now, based on a thorough analysis of your writing needs, you don't need all these fancy bells and whistles. My girl just wants to write. She's got a lot she needs to say, and boy are we going to let you tell the world what you want!
I would recommend using Google Docs, which is Google's version of MS Word. All you need is a google account, and best of all, it's all free to use!
Now I know what you're thinking, Ms Bitter. "MikeyJamJams, the last time I tried out new technology, it complicated my life. In a world where technology is supposed to be making our lives easier, why is it dividing us and ripping the fabric of our society apart?"
And you know what Ms. Bitter, you're absolutely right. However, I can assure you with a Michael JamJams guarantee that making a switch to Google Docs will not be difficult for you, because you already have so much experience with MS Word. The Google Docs interface is very similar, and I would even say that the way you access some things makes more sense than MS Word. I would also like to remind you how strong you are Ms. Bitter. Like I previously said, while all the cowards refused to take on MS Word 2016, you faced it head-on; you have a very strong spirit. Always remember that, because in times of turmoil, such as these, if there's anyone who can get through, it's you. You can do this, Ms. Bitter. You can do this!
Anyways, I have to go now before Microsoft's AI systems are going to pick up on me trashing their products. It actually might be too late, and reps from Microsoft are going to "take care of a PR situation." But, you know what, it was all worth it, because I got to help my new friend Ms. Bitter.
But most importantly, I sincerely believe that once you try Google Docs, you are going to become Ms. "Better," because you are going to feel much better, free from the evil reins of MS Word. You'll be able to write once more, without the pains of technology getting in your way. The words will flow through your fingers. You'll be able to always write that book you wanted, finally finish that love letter to David, or that open letter to Microsoft telling them how unnecessarily complicated Microsoft Word is.
Now, with that hilarious closing joke, I wish you all the best, Ms. Better. You go out there and write as much as you can until your fingers fall off.
God Bless, and Happy Easter!
12 years as a Master of Analysis