Always consider the possibility that the reason you had problems with women was because there was something wrong with *them*. Don’t just assume that the problem is you.
The problem with the psychological approach is that it pretends to be a science, and that the problem is dysfunction, and invariably tries to find trauma in childhood.
You are right to call this pscyhobabble.
a) it’s normal and natural to have happy healthy relationships with others
b) love-making makes love
c) the main problems are *moral* - practising good behaviour towards each other - not psychological - some kind of mental illness.
You need to remember that we have just lived through a period when relations between male and female have been politicized as never before. The result is endless privileges for females on a double standard - that they will have all the benefits of traditional patriachy, and all the benefits of feminism. All these will be backed up by force and threats - law and policy. And men will have the costs, sacrifices, risks, humiliation, tedium and downsides of both.
So what is a “normal” relationship in these circumstances? If you look around you, you will see that it is one where the guy is being exploited as a money and utility object, and very often plays a subservient role to the woman, on pain of being @ss-raped and ruined in the divorce courts.
Be careful what you wish for.
There are lots of guys on here complaning that their wife has just decided not to have sex. So he’s left paying for the house, the children, the education, the car, the wife, the whole road-show, and she’s just decided that any obligation on her part is optional.
So the problem is not necessarily you, and not necessarily able to be fixed by reflection on your part.
It’s about power.