Should I just walk out and save myself?

My husband has resumed his alcoholism, and was so drunk 2 nights ago, he started calling me a whore, and ranted and raved literally all night long, and I had to work a 12hr shift the next day. Its draining to live like this. I never know when he is going to booze it up again. I moved myself into an upstairs bedroom because I cant imagine doing this. We married later in life and both have grown kids. Im hiding this from my own kids. He's already informed me he is an alcoholic and doesnt plan to change. Whats the best way to leave?

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  • Anonymous
    10 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Pack and go. Now. My father was an alcoholic. They don't change

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  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    If your husband is an alcoholic and has no plans to change, then you're doing yourself an injustice by staying with him. If your children are grown, I'm sure they probably already know it, but you're not being fair to yourself by keeping it a secret from them. Don't continue living your like in this mess. It would be better to live in a little 1 bedroom trailer than to live another day with such an abusive man. You owe it to yourself, so make a move soon sweetheart.

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  • 10 months ago

    Figure out a place you can go pack up and leave this behavior will just escalate overtime and you will possibly endure health issues with lack of rest.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    Without knowing who owns the home and what your general financials are it's hard to give you a point by point escape plan. But from a relationship standpoint you're well within your ethical rights to tell him either he enters a treatment program or you'll be divorcing him.

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  • 10 months ago

    Ask him if he will cooperate with you on spitting that which you both accumulated after you married each other so you and he can each take half of what you accumulated and each take what you each had before you married. Then ask him if both of you can hire the same attorney to handle an uncontested divorce so each of you can save money and not have to hire separate attorneys. Tell him you are leaving him because you will not tolerate his alcoholism any more as it's destroying your life and your marriage. Do not stay married to a person who has the disease and addiction of alcoholism. You will not be happy were he to remain an alcoholic and continue drinking. He won't change and there's nothing you can do to make him change. The rest of your life will be a happy life because you won't date or marry a man who's an alcoholic.

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  • 10 months ago

    Pack your things, take half the joint money, and go see a lawyer and file for divorce.

    Attend Al Anon meetings for support and advice.

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  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    You already know the answer to this. I'm not sure what you mean by "resumed" his alcoholism, but this is a progressive, chronic disease. It's not his fault he has it, but it's his responsibility to do what it takes to stop drinking and be healthy. If he's never gone to a legit rehab and/or joined AA (or another support group) he's not taking responsibility.

    I'm not telling you this to confuse the issue, because I can see where you might be temped to tell him to get help. In the history of the planet, this has never worked. He has to want sobriety more than anything, and he's not even close to that point.

    Do yourself a favor and get to an Alanon mtg. Nobody wants to hear this, but nobody has ever regretted going. You will get support from people who know your conflicted feelings and can reinforce what you need to do. Right now, you're on a one way trip to nowhere.

  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    Get yourself somewhere else to stay, pack your belongings and leave. Start divorce proceedings.

    Also tell your kids what's going on. I'm pretty sure they would sort of know that this man is an alcoholic.

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  • 10 months ago

    Your husband suffers from an addiction and your first thought is to leave him?

    Geez what happened to "through sickness and and in health"?. Try and get him serious help before just walking out at least. You said he resumed which means at one point he stopped which means he can stop again. Also try and figure out WHY he resumed and that might just fix this whole mess. Try getting him to talk to a counselor or a shrink.

    This is my personal opinion obviously but i would never leave my husband because he has an addiction, your basically leaving him because hes suffering. Id understand if hes being physically abusive but just ranting? really?

    • 10 months agoReport

      Women want a package not a project.

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  • 10 months ago

    just get out do it any which way you can..

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