No judgments. Pregnant, Unsure, Should I tell?
I am 28 years old and last week I found out I am 5 weeks pregnant. The father is my boyfriend, who happens to be my on and off boyfriend for the past almost 4 years. We have never had a stable relationship, but somehow I have a hard time getting away from him. It's like he has this control over me. Even when we are not dating, I don't enjoy my life because I worry about what he is going to think. He'll get mad I am going out. I'm going to hear it etc etc. get me? Anyway. Few days prior to finding out I was pregnant we have been arguing for the past few days to the point where we were about to call it quits. Before this year, my life has been held back for a lot of reasons. Now this year I moved out of my moms, got my own place, finally graduated and started in my career working in the OR. You can say I am starting to live life now. Finding out I was pregnant brought a lot of emotions. Because I always wanted to have a family of my own, but when the time was right.
At this point in my life, I feel like its the worst time. I know you can never be ready for a child, however, my situation with the boyfriend. I grew up and seen my mom suffer as a single parent. I know the damages of having an unstable relationship can cause, because it has affected my brothers and I.
This isn't how I wanted it to be for me. I want a child but I am not ready right now and it makes me cry of the thought of abortion. I want to tell my parents but should I bother telling them if I am thinking of an abortion? Am I being selfish about this? My boyfriend says its my body that he respects whatever decision I make, even though he wanted a kid so bad. But kid would not fix this relationship and I don't want that for my child.
- JasonLv 78 months ago
You are right by choosing not to lose the gift of life which many people in the world do not have but you have, do not go with the abortion, it is a LIFELONG REGRET, you will realize what I am saying today when you see the smile of your little one
- Ranchmom1Lv 78 months ago
Our oldest daughter who became part of our family as a teenager was born into a really bad situation which got worse, resulting in abuse to her in many different ways - it's nothing anyone would have chosen for a child, and about as far from an ideal childhood as is possible to be. Even so, she doesn't regret her life and very definitely does not wish she had been aborted instead. If she had been, not only would the world have missed out on the amazing person she is, but her daughters (who were also born in less than ideal circumstances) wouldn't be here either.
You wrote, "it makes me cry of the thought of abortion." You are regretting it already - even the thought of it - it will only be harder and sadder if you follow through and end your child's future.
- JuanaLv 48 months ago
What is your other option, having the baby on your own? All the power to ya. I would tell him just so he can have a say whether he wants to be in my child's life or not. This would not entitle him to live with me and raise it with me, though.
- nightLv 68 months ago
I think you need to sort through this on your own before you tell anyone else. Get some paper and write down your thoughts on motherhood, abortion, and adoption. Don't try to figure it out, just write what you care for and don't care for about each choice. Then set the paper aside for a day or two; then go back and read it. Hopefully that will help you know your own mind about this and you can proceed accordingly.
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- Anonymous8 months ago
Geez... You said "Because I always wanted to have a family of my own, but when the time was right." This doesn't sound like the right time, it also doesn't sound like the right guy. You only have to tell if you decide to keep it. Good luck.
- TealLv 78 months ago
It sounds like you already know what you want to do. Tell your parents if you believe they will support your decision and help you through it. You aren't being selfish, and even if you were guilt and shame aren't good enough reasons to bring a child in to the world.
This incident should motivate you to cut your boyfriend loose and move on for good. You don't have a future with him and he will never give you the family you want. You aren't helpless. You can choose to walk away. See a therapist if you genuinely can't let him go. He doesn't have any power over you except what you give him.