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How do you handle people taking your silence for weakness?

I’m naturally quiet & reserved at work. I’m not timid or shy. Just quiet, especially in a new environment. Its how I learn, I like to watch. I’m just taking it in. Focusing. I don’t move in a rush, I move when I want & it’s the same with speaking - I do it when I feel like it or it’s necessary at work. I’m very observant. I don’t join the gossip. I don’t want to know your business & I won’t tell you mine. I don’t have an attitude I just want to do my job. At every job management always says the same thing my first day “You seem so shy? You need to come up out of your shell. Don’t be scared to open up.” & I constantly have to tell them that I’m not shy nor afraid just private & naturally reserved.

Honestly, I’ve heard this outside of work before as well. And unfortunately I’ve had to make examples of people who’ve taken my quietness for weakness. I don’t want to have to do that though. I just want to be me and left alone. I’ve been in plenty physical and verbal altercations because someone thought “Oh just because she’s quiet I can say this or do that to her. She’s scary. She won’t do anything”. I hate to be tested. And I hate having to explain why I am the way that I am. I don’t like the fighting or arguing but sometimes if feels like it comes with the territory of being to yourself. My kindness is either taken for weakness or people assume I’m ultra stuck up.

How would you advise me to deal with this going forward without explaining yourself or altercation?

15 Answers

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  • 1 year ago
    Favorite Answer

    I give them the silent treatment.

    P.S. - I don't care if extroverts want to diminish introverts. It's annoying but what can you do? There will always be people who object to anyone who is even slightly different than normal but those are the people who are weak. People talk about respecting individuality but what many people want is conformity. They aren't likely to get it from me and I'm not likely to change them so I just carry on.

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    As challenging as it may be you have to turn within and try to inhabit your own better, inner world that you create. Your refuge from the world’s insanity and absurdity and yes..cruelty. God has given us this ability. The only thing that’s going to save you from the insanity of other people is creativity. Learn to play a musical instrument or get involved in some kind of artistic endeavor and try to find other people who share those values. Shallow, non-spiritual people will always make you ‘mad’...in both senses of the word.

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  • Just say. “ Sorry you feel that way”

    Acknowledging that they’re responsible for

    Their feelings and not you, so allow then to

    Hold false beliefs or delusions ( same thing )!

    If they wish.

    Thanks

    Very Best Wishes

    Mars

    Source:) Personal views sited.

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    .....

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    You are not obligated to be civil and friendly with others, who you are is who you are.

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  • 1 year ago

    Do what you feel is right.

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  • james
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    Hold your own counsel. Keep track of the facts. Hand them a long rope. Smile at there jest. A day does always come. When the mouth they run. The dance they so love prance. Leads them into a misstep. Threw the gallows trap door. Watch there fall so far. There only hope of stopping is when the rope snaps tight about there neck. Show no emotion just turn your back. & get back to work. They brought there own fall They earned the right to fall.

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  • 1 year ago

    You are probably an introvert.

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  • 1 year ago

    No I'm the same way. I'm a guy though. I've have the experience as you as well as when growing up people have always thought I was just really smart. Professors in college thought I was a genius because I was so quiet but to be honest I'm pretty dumb. It's wise to be the way you are. Observe take in keep to yourself don't gossip and speak when you feel led to. This offends people because they see you as being different from them so they will try to break you down and say things to be little you, but they're probably just jealous because they don't know how to keep their mouth shut and keep themselves in control. I heard a preacher at church say once if you are quiet that means you aren't a humble person. For some reason that really offended me, but O well. Just keep being the way you are because it is wise.

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  • Alien
    Lv 4
    1 year ago

    Scream and pray that one day you will be free.

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