What you're describing is very selfish behavior by your dad. Affairs are selfish (I know from experience), however, the divorce probably had some provision that your dad has to support you mom, and if your siblings are under 18, he's required to support them to that age...other than that, it's what was agreed to in the decree. I find it hard to believe he'd not want to see his daughter off to college, but perhaps that says something about his character... I'm sorry you're having to go through this, but you can only control you; certainly have a right to the feelings you're experiencing, but DO NOT beat yourself up and think, for whatever reason you're a bad person - you aren't! The mess was caused by your dad's affair, and he and your mother divorced... YOU take care of you; your entire life is ahead of you, college can be a wonderful experience - new friends, new experiences, different cultures...ENJOY!