There was a guy in Germany still p!ssed at being on the losing side in WW1 said "Vee vill conker the vorld". So he and a few mates bullied their way to the top in German politics and told the French and the British to stick their treaty of Versailles and their huge reparation payments up their backside and started to buy the biggest and best military in the world. First they tested the French and British by grabbing back what the Germans believed was their own territory in Austria and Czechoslovakia. and the French and British barely uttered a word. Mr Hitler said "vell that vas eezy lets conquer the rest of the vorld" so decided to start with Poland. The British and French by now realised they had no choice but to step in and stop him sent armies but Mr Hitler's boys were fighting a new mobile war that the British and French were not set up for and soon were on the run. Luckily Britain managed to save its army, but France was as Mr Hitler put it "kaput". Next Mr Hitler wanted England so told his mate Mr Goering to "get zour flyboys to go over and zoften those British swine up zo we can invade and steal zere crown jules", So Mr Goering sent his flyboys over there and got their @rses shot off. Mr Goering was very unhappy and swore at his flyboys saying "Mr Hitler is kicking mine @rze coz yooz flyboys are cowyards" which did not made those flyboys happy to be called cowyards. Finally the British shot so many German flyboys in the @rse Mr Hitler had to say "enuff we shall go and invade doze dumb inferior Slavs in Russia instead. Zey vill not expect it because I zigned a note saying I vould never attack zem" so he sent his soldiers to Russia and froze their @rses off in the severe winter as Russia was smarter than Mr Hitler imagined.
Meanwhile the Germans needed to capture the Suez canal as much of Britain's supplies came through there and planned to capture the British oil wells in the Middle East as they needed oil to run their vehicles on. So Mr Hitler said " Rommel be a sweety and go to Norz Africa and blow zem British nancy boyz back to Britain for me" A couple Heil Hitlers later Mr Rommel was on his way and started off quite well forcing the British into a fast retreat back to a sea port of Tobruk where the British and Australian troops held him off. Finally Mr Churchil said to a Mr Montgomery "we need someone to go lead our chaps to victory so off he went with a heap of supplies and destroyed Germany's forces in North Africa. Mr Hitler was by now getting pretty p!ssed off saying " ock to leever, vot a mob of pansies I ave running my army. Can't yoo bastards get anyding right. We are getting our @rzes kicked by the Russians zand the British. Vot elz can go wrong".
About this time some little Asian devils were feeling a little naughty and said, " ight waz bekd din" which roughly means lets go bomb the American fleet in Pearl Harbour to kingdom come and frighten the sh!t out of those stupid scared Americans. They are too scared to fight as they won't even go and help in the European war with their friends the British. They will be a push over. So they did it but Mr America was pretty p!ssed off and decided to kick some Japanese @rse. So Mr Hitler said "doze stupid Ameicanz vill be so bizzy fighting those slant eyze we should declare vor on them to teach zem for coming to WW1 on the British and French zide". Soon the Americans were sending huge numbers of troops and supplies to the Pacific and Europe. Mr Hirihito said " oops wurht com fut" which basically means do you think that party prank we played on the Americans at Pearl Harbour may have gone a bit far, as they seem very p!ssed off. They seem to have destroyed our Navy and we are losing all our conquests.
Meanwhile back in Europe the British and Americans were bombing Germany to Hell. Mr Hitler said, "yoo dumbcoff Goering. Yoo promissed me zat the Bommers cood never bomb my bootiful Berlin" Much kicking of Mr Goering's @rse later Mr Goering was fed up and just went on a massive looting rampage stealing much of Europe's art treasures. By now Germany and Japan are starting to wish they never started wars as both were crumbling fast. Finally early may 1945 Mr Hitler says " vot to you mean vee are loozing the vor. Yoo Genrals told me yezterday vee vere vinning. Yoo are all so bad lying to me. Now I vill have to go kill myself" and a couple days later Germany surrendered,
But those stubborn Japanese decided to continue on until all the Japanese were dead as death was before dishonour in their code of life. Finally America had perfected the biggest firecracker ever made by man. and decide to drop it on a Japanese city. Next thing the mayor of Hiroshima was saying "what the fluck was that" as there was a huge bang and his city turned into a fireball, but the Japanese refused to surrender so a few days later the Americans dropped another of these new firecrackers on Nagasaki but their mayor was vaporised so said nothing. Mr Hirohito said "what the fluck are we going to do. They have these new giant firecrackers". Then Russia sees an opportunity to slip in the unprotected back door taking the top island of Japan and the Japanese realise they have no choice but to surrender and it was all over.