My male friend wants to have a baby with me, How do I explain that this is an insane idea?
Me and my friend are in our mid 20s. i am the only female friend he has. We have a strong friendship, He does have a crush on me too but he decided to stay friends as it's best. We did have sex a few times back when we were not in work and bored and we live next to each other, so it is a bit of a mess of what we are. We mutually decided that we stop the sex and just keep the friendship going. That's was all good for 3 months, until he said " I wanna have a family with you, I need something in my life to live for" I was pissed because that isn't fair to trap me into something I don't want because your life is boring. He isn't working and he doesn't go out the house, he has no friends really. I told him I'm not ready for kids, He seems to be deluded into thinking a baby will change his life. Yeah it will, but it can be for the better or worse. He says he needs something to give him motivation and drive to heal his depression in life. I explained to him that he needs to be logical realistic about things before asking people that kind of stuff. He clearly didn't think anything through. He thinks this because somebody who has a child told him "you need to get yourself a little family, it will change you" I told him I don't want that. He is still being persistent though. Help!!
- PatriciaLv 79 months agoFavorite Answer
Tell him it's not going to happen, ever, and that, if he's interested in starting a family, he needs to put himself out there, date around to see if he can find someone who he connects with emotionally and who he is attracted to... give it time and see if there is compatibility.
In the meantime, he could work on finding some interests and activities to do with other people. There is always meetup.com.
I wouldn't have a baby with him if i were you, either. I don't see the point, and you don't seem all that interested in having his kids.
apparently, he has no clue what a huge responsibility it is to have children.
- Elaine MLv 78 months ago
Don't give in to his fantasy. Keep him as a friend and encourage him to make more friends.
- Anonymous8 months ago
i'm your mom
- 8 months ago
Just don't open your legs for him anymore. If, as he says, he wants something to live for, tell him go get himself a dog. They always show unconditional love. He doesn't sound mature enough to be a father.
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- Common SenseLv 79 months ago
Oh for crying out loud. Tell him to get a girlfriend, fall in love, get married and start a family.
Tell him in no uncertain terms that you do not have children with your friends. Stop this "I am not ready" bullshit because that gives him hope that you WILL be ready one day.
DO NOT SLEEP with him. Do you really want a baby with a friendless depressed guy who cannot provide for his kid? Of course not. How ridiculous.
- - Mé -Lv 79 months ago
No is a whole sentence. If he persists then stop talking to him. You re not responsible of his mental health.
- pit bulls biteLv 79 months ago
he would be more depressed
- k wLv 79 months ago
time to move, leave no forwarding address either........
- Anonymous9 months ago
Help him find a gf
- Serene ELv 79 months ago
He's your friend. TALK TO HIM.