How do you hide desperation?

i am a lonely man in my early 40's who despairs, ive never built any adult relationships or had a partner and my only support network are my two elderly parents who live far away.....ive never built relationships due to having severe mental health problems.. im driven to desperation and despair a lot due to my... show more i am a lonely man in my early 40's who despairs, ive never built any adult relationships or had a partner and my only support network are my two elderly parents who live far away.....ive never built relationships due to having severe mental health problems..

im driven to desperation and despair a lot due to my lonely existence and i phone the samaritans helpline just for someone to talk to.....and i want them to care about me even though they are strangers, but they are fake, and remain silent and act condescending or uninterested...and it frustrates me.

nobody has life as tough as me, i live one of the toughest lifes...i get so lonely having never formed any relationships with women and phone the samaritans helpine out of desperation.


how can i not feel so lonely and desperate for human interaction? when will i find a woman partner?

desperation scares women away, i also live with diabetes type 2, so i try to get exercise at the gym and watch what i eat.
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