My name is Uncle Sam, I am 20 trillion in debt, I need personal finance help?

Let me tell you a little about myself. I was born on July 4, 1776 so I’m 243 years old but I’m still living. Lately I made some, as Dave Ramsey would say, stupid moves I can’t get out of. See in the 1980s I took a pay cut, my customers got to pay me only 28 percent commission on the money they got every year... show more Let me tell you a little about myself. I was born on July 4, 1776 so I’m 243 years old but I’m still living.

Lately I made some, as Dave Ramsey would say, stupid moves I can’t get out of.

See in the 1980s I took a pay cut, my customers got to pay me only 28 percent commission on the money they got every year working. Ouch that put me a few trillion in debt

In the 1990s a tech windfall was a lifesaver and some new earnings started me on ability to pay down my debt.

Unfortunately I didn’t have a good rainy day fund for emergencies and 9/11/01 hit me hard. I had to borrow money for new Federal airport security measures and borrowed a lot of that

Then my thinking got clouded in desperation I went into further debt paying for a war in Iraq

Then I got stupid and tried to force a second windfall like that 1990s but with sub-prime real estate home ownership investments but this was STUPID in 2008 it all fell under

Stupidly I dealt with this problem with more stupid. I gave money to AIG and GM and I bailed banks out and wildly threw grants to companies regardless of their ability to pay

Then I should have said now we need to fix this stupid, but no I decided to do some crazy thing with healthcare reform using silly rules and metallic tiering and other bogus exchanges under the name of affordable healthcare. I screwed this one up. All over pre-existing condition prohibition which was actually already settled by most states

I gave a Corp taxcut and now I’m broke, help!