It's quite likely there's something else going on that hasn't been made clear to you. For example, perhaps his home is overwhelmingly impressive and luxurious, and his table is incredibly elaborate - so that none of the guests feel that they are visiting a friend, but rather are being hosted by a person who is clearly out of their social league. They feel their own home and meals would appear shabby and modest in comparison, and would seem like an affront instead of a compliment. You laugh - yet, it IS one of the things that can go wrong.
Frankly, some Americans "are better than this" and some are not. You might check to ensure that his idea of a typical lunch and dinner, and of the general form of social custom are not too different from casual American notions. Most other cultures are more structured in imparting social customs to their children than America, where it is largely taught peer-to-peer and trial-and-error.
(Keep in mind it's also remotely possible that your friend is just offensive, tedious, or alarming after a drink or two.)