Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social ScienceGender Studies · 8 months ago

Is it selfish wanting a baby?

I am 28, madly in love with my girlfriend. Both of us have had hard upbringing, and basically she's the one who has ever loved me so much,and I am his first in everything. I want a baby and she wants it too (she said it first). I was talking to a friend (just hypothetically speaking, not 'We are planning a child") and he told me 'why dyou wnanna ruin your girlfriend so young, she still has to see the world you wanna get her pregnant, made her become fat, turns her breasts into flat saggy granny type ones, make her wake up every night to calm down a baby who will suck the soul out of her. God, told like this it sounds horrible! I dreamed of a cute tender baby who would look exaclty like her when she was a child, and I imagined the baby sleeping with us. Am I selfish for wanting a baby?

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  • 8 months ago
    Best Answer

    Well, first of all, babies should NEVER sleep with their parents. NO. It's dangerous.

    Next, whether you have a child or not, is between you and your lady. It's something the two of you really have to be on the same page about.

    Yes babies suck out our souls... our body is feeding them for nine months out of our lives, and after the baby comes along, we are tired for a good bit of time. Childbirth isn't a walk in the park and the entire experience is a bit draining. It takes our bodies a while to heal.

    After the baby comes, no one gets much sleep and we commence to have no social life, more expenses and bills. Doctors aren't free, neither are diapers, cribs, baby food, clothing and all the rest.

    It can be a wonderful time, and it's also an emotionally trying time

    You're not selfish, but i think you do need to take a lot of things into consideration before you start a family. Families are great. Being prepared to start one? that's better.

  • 8 months ago

    YES.

    The unselfish thing is to adopt a child.

  • Elana
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    On a planet with 7.5 BILLION humans starved for resources?

    Sure.

    On the other hand, lots of countries' economies depend on having a continually growing population. So ...

    No.

    But your genes are amazing, the world needs more like you, so ...

    Sure.

    On the other hand, think of all the good you could be doing in the world that you won't be able to do because you are taking of a child, so ...

    No.

    The rest of the world is NOT going to give you a decisive answer. You need to figure it out for yourselves. Clearly the evolutionary instinct is to reproduce, but your brain, your humanity, lets you control your instincts and DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

    Not our call.

    • Bill
      Lv 7
      8 months agoReport

      The planet is not starved for resources.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    I had a child and my son’s

    Mother , my ex wife, Doesn’t have anything to do with my son anymore and made him move out of her house when he was only 17 because the stepfather hates him and doesn’t want him around. She also stole $40,000 of Social Security money from him and money from me which I had saved up for my son.I try to take care of my son by myself and my ex-wife has only tried to destroy our lives over the years. Make sure the woman that you are involved with doesn’t turn out like that. You can’t always tell in the beginning. Some women turn out to be psycho paths

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  • 8 months ago

    No. Make sure you can care for a baby though.

  • 8 months ago

    No you're normal..your friend is a childless degenerate. I'm 28 too I'm ready for a baby.

  • 8 months ago

    Get married. Strengthen your careers and be responsible human beings. Then, have a baby.

    In that order.

    Wanting children is not selfish, but controlling the timing is key as parenthood is not easy, so you need to begin with your best shot: Get married. Have good jobs and then begin a family.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    No, if you both want it, can afford it and aren't a pair of feckless teens. I drop your 'friend'-he sounds completely immature and as if he sees women's worth as only to do with their looks. The reality is, of course, having kids is hard. Pregnancy can be dangerous and WILL change your GF (as will life itself.) There will be sleepless nights, childhood illnesses and financial struggle, BUT AGAIN, THAT IS PART OF LIFE. You just need to be aware and face it maturely, neither dreaming of all sweetness and light or running away from responsibility.

  • e9601:
    Lv 6
    8 months ago

    Get married first, then talk about a baby.

  • 8 months ago

    Can you support a baby - time and money available for that? If so, not selfish, if both of you want it.

  • 8 months ago

    No you are not selfish for wanting a baby. It is natural to fall in love and want to have a baby. Having a child young doesn't hold you back but gives you the opportunity to give that baby the best years and the healthiest years of your life. And God allowing when your baby grows up your girlfriend and you will be there for it longer and you will be able to travel still when yall are older like when you retire

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