Third movement of Sierra s Return (my first symphony)?

Hey guys! Sorry I haven t been on in a while. I ve been hard at work though, on my symphony. I just finished the third and fourth movements (they go together), and I m starting to write the fifth. The symphony is about a girl driven to madness who comes back from the dead to kill her abusers, so I guess I d say it s pretty lighthearted haha. Anyway, this is my first symphony, or basically my first big piece. Please let me know what you think!

https://www.noteflight.com/scores/view/e15f2f5505b...

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  • 11 months ago
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    It's good to see you've written a lot of music, that itself is quite impressive. I liked the bit where you change into A major - it's the first time you really here a motif being developed (albeit in quite a minor way).

    I think the next step for you to take would be to learn about development. For instance where the viola takes the melody it starts strongly, but about halfway through it starts rambling a bit - it's like you're tying to stretch out the length of an essay with lots of filler. Some common methods of development are

    Change the timbre (so give the melody to a bassoon for instance)

    Change the tonality (put it in the relative minor for instance)

    Augmentation or diminution (i.e double or half the note lengths - this works best for smaller passages or 'quotes' of strong melodic ideas, you don't want to extend a 16 bar passage into 32 bars!)

    Change the pitch (a common one is state it in the dominant - so put it into E major in this case. Again this works best for shorter passages)

    Change the melody itself slightly. The key is SLIGHTLY. For instance if you have an 8 bar phrase try to end it on the dominant the first time (an imperfect cadence, or 'question') and then repeat almost all of it the second time but end on the tonic in the last few notes (a perfect cadence, or 'answer')

    Development is a really important skill to master because it keeps your piece interesting. Student composers seem to go through too phases - firstly no real development which is boring. Secondly they get the idea of it and suddenly it's EVERYWHERE. There's too MUCH development and the audience can't keep up. You need to say 'this is home' before you can take people on a journey. Staying at home is boring, but you also don't want to be traveling forever.

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  • 11 months ago

    No idea how old you are - but if you want to make any progress, you need INSTRUCTION. This lacks and form or development - same old same old over and over. Many instances of poor voice leading - and not demonstrated in any way that sounds intentional (as perhaps an indication of the protagonaist's mental state?) You need more education in instrumentation ( the capacities and best/worst application of every instrument) and then orchestration - how to best distribute your musical ideas ( of which there were very few original ones) through out the orchestral forces. Most of the instrumental parts are dead cold boring to play - except for the rapid pizz passage of violas - and that better be DIVISI, not double-stop pizz!

    So we all here applaud your ambition and intention - but none of this is ready for public consumption, or submission to any kind of students competition - yet. You need a far more extensive an thorough education is all the areas of music - starting with better theory skills. You need to listen with a SCORE to many works of composers you admire. Bad I also suggest that you devote yourself to *absolute* composition for a while - no program or story, but a far better grasp of your mechanics. Prove to yourself ( and us . .) that you can write a decent minuet, sonata, etc. - or something with really good voice-leading - or something that best exploits a woodwind quintet or string quartet - before you write for 100 people, 90 of which will be bored stupid playing half a dozen notes. enroll in a good class, where your work can be shared and compared with others. Having ONE TEACHER may not be what you need - perhaps that are happy that such a your person *wishes* to do this - but if you are studying, well - I do not think they are teaching you much. Good luck - hope to hear back form you in maybe 6 months, minimum.

    Source(s): Retired school music director and teacher of Theory - multiple undergrad and grad degrees in Theory. Have composed and mainly arranged hundreds of work for educational and professional chamber music use, which were performed in my school concerts and for decades with my professional chamber music groups. Started like you - got *better*! - so can YOU!
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  • However, for a teenager, it's good to see you applying what you hear to the page. I suppose you'll elect music as a middle and senior school subject, in which case you'll learn techniques of orchestral composition and other ways of expressing what's in your head.

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  • 11 months ago

    Anachronistic and boring.

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    • Bozo the Clown
      Lv 4
      11 months agoReport

      It seems to me that, any advice which includes the words "teacher" or "professional instruction" will almost certainly be ignored.
      Today's generation is very impatient and seeks a quick fix; unaware that there aren't any quick fixes, and flounce off in a fit of pique when someone breaks the news.

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