My Anger and Desire to succeed has left me miserable. Any help? please?

I'm Ryan, I spend most of my time ignoring people around me, lashing out in fits of anger over minor things and trying to do things I enjoy, but you see the problem with that is that I have seemingly lost the ability to have fun with activities, for long anyway, allow me to elaborate I have had a lot of... show more I'm Ryan, I spend most of my time ignoring people around me, lashing out in fits of anger over minor things and trying to do things I enjoy, but you see the problem with that is that I have seemingly lost the ability to have fun with activities, for long anyway, allow me to elaborate

I have had a lot of interests over the years and they all fall into the same cycle, for example, video games, I'd pick up a game and have a wonderful time for a short while and devote a good chunk of time into it but soon the experience would sour, it'd feel like work, the game itself was nothing but stress, all I would be after at that point was the screen that read "you win!" and when I failed? well I'd go on more fits of anger so severe I didn't care what I broke or hurt as long as everything around got a taste of how angry I was, even if that everything around me included me (a story for another time)

this has left me miserable, everything feels like a life draining office job and success is the only ray of light that would be time to clock out only to go back to having the life sucked out of me after a short night's rest

one of the worst parts is everybody keeps telling me the same things "well maybe find a new hobby!", "why don't you take a break and come back with a casual mindset", "just get better lol", "try breathing, big deep breathes" but none of that ever works! not for my anger and definitely not for everything feeling so god blessing worthless! well, that's my rant, any ideas?
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