I'm losing everyone?

my best friend is no longer my best friend because i was jealous of her and i said rude things( im 15). i never meant to be rude but it seems in keep losing the people i love the most and i'm losing myself in the process. i hug people at school a lot and act like i have friends and keep a smile on my face but... show more my best friend is no longer my best friend because i was jealous of her and i said rude things( im 15). i never meant to be rude but it seems in keep losing the people i love the most and i'm losing myself in the process. i hug people at school a lot and act like i have friends and keep a smile on my face but its hard. i never know how to feel or how to act anymore and tbh i don't care.
Update: im not normally a rude person there are just those little things that you should keep in your head yknow? it wasn't normally a huge deal but idk what happened. do i need therapy or something?? idek
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