Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 10 months ago

He gave me a chocolate on Valentines day. And ate the whole thing alone .?

We are living together for 1 year now and been together for almost 4 years. we had and have some problems in between us that we are trying to resolve. Like the usual couple problems not that serious. And Lately we have been fighting alot. People say it happens when two people starts living together.

So this Valentines day he gave me a chocolate bar. I made him cake because i know he likes that kinds of stuff ... sweets in general.

I put the chocolate away for later. And after few days the chocolate was missing and i was busy with work and lately so i finally had the chance to ask him where the chocolate was and he said he took it and ate the whole thing. And i told him it was a gift why didnt you tell me and he apologized and hugged me and said dont worry i will buy you another one soon. It wasnt bothering me for whole week after Valentines but after hearing what he said it really pisses me off. Am i over reacting or over thinking?

5 Answers

  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    Buy him a gift card.

  • Lady
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    He gave it to you as a gift. So it was yours. He owes you another one.

    Next time hide and this won't happen again. As you seem to be have

    some problems you might be better off seeing a couples councilor.

  • 10 months ago

    No, a gift is a gift, and belongs to you when given. He appropriated it for his own without asking. Were I you, this would deeply disturb me.

    While it's neat that the two of you are becoming one, that doesn't mean you will be absorbed or subsumed by him. You still have an EQAL identity and voice. This would be a good time to talk about limits, equal voice in decisions and how equality in your relationship is going to work.

    In my relationship many things are shared, but some are held as private. We both have a small monthly allowance to buy "out stuff". It might not be the best model, but it's worked for going on 30 years.

    Tell him where and how he messed up, and how it's not about a chocolate bar, but about respect. See where it goes.

  • Amy
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    Yes you are over reacting. It was chocolate that you clearly didn't really care about. But maybe tell him that you would like something besides sweets for valentines day from now on.

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  • 10 months ago

    Some people just have a sweet tooth. He discovered your chocolate bar and just had to have it.

    I would be too fussed about it. Although mildly inconsiderate I don't think he displayed any malicious intent and it can easily be replaced.

    It sounds like minor things are setting you off and you seek to fight with him if everything isn't perfect.

    You don't want to argue of course, so just be aware of your triggers, take a breath and accept that he loves you.

    Relationships aren't always the easiest to navigate, but with mutual effort you both can be very happy together.

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