If men gatekeep commitment & women gatekeep sex,is it the responsibility of whoever gets upset that they don’t presume access from the other?

In other words, if the woman gets upset after sleeping with the guy that he then doesn’t want to commit, it was her responsibility to not presume commitment from him and instead find out what he was looking for before granting access to sex

Likewise for men, if they want to get upset that he gets upset after committing to the girl that she doesn’t not want sex, it was his responsibility to not presume sex from her and instead find out what she was looking for before granting access to commitment

3 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago
    Favorite Answer

    Your assessment is eloquently stated and very logical.

    Have you considered, though, that sex and commitment aren’t the only variables?

    For example, a woman can be super-hot and a Tasmanian Devil in the sack, but if she’s demeaning, spiteful, jealous, or manipulative the sex card loses most of its power to keep the relationship going.

    A man can be attractive, popular, a great father to her children, and committed as HELL, but if he can’t make her laugh, be spontaneous, or hold down a job his commitment doesn’t mean anything.

    You are on the right track, though. It is VERY important to be aware of the other person’s expectations before getting emotionally (or sexually) entangled.

    • Hercules1 year agoReport

      I agree that dealbreakers exist alongside dealmakers, but my focus is on where responsibility lies when there’s upset. Less to do with the make or break but more to do with etiquette and offender

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  • 1 year ago

    You're really seriously totally overthinking how this falling-in-love stuff works, just so you know.

    Nobody 'gatekeeps' anything, (I like making up words too.) and there is no such thing as presumed access from anything else. Get your nose out of your gender studies / sociology textbook and look around you.

    Here's what you need to know, and don't ever forget this: Men are all filthy perverts, women are all completely insane, and anyone who says otherwise is either a liar or trying to sell you something.

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Couples pretty quickly find out whether there is commitment / sex. If they see that they aren't going to get what they want they can end the affair.

    Problems occur a few years later when people change their minds. Women give up on sex and men start to wander. (Not necessarily in that order!)

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