There isn't just one right technique, but many different. What might work for one person, might not work for another. I teach pencil portrait drawing and I see this quite frequently. My advice is not to limit yourself to one technique, but try all of them.
Stay away from the grids and the tracing for now. Important thing is to learn how to draw, not just how to copy. And try to draw from real life and your imagination and not just photos. I've had students in my class who could copy a photo like it was nobody's business, but when asked to draw an imaginary face or one of their class mates, they were really struggling. I know it's slow going and it sucks at the beginning, but it will pay off in the end and you will be a better artist for it.
Also, be patient. Hand-eye coordination doesn't come overnight, neither does learning how to draw what you see. Seeing how frustrated you are right now, I'm guessing that you're at the point where you've learned how to "see", and can see that your drawings aren't good, but that your drawing skills haven't quite caught up yet. I see this all the time with my students, and while they're tearing their hair out, I know at that point it's usually just a matter of time before they have their "break-through" and start producing pretty good drawings. For most it comes gradually, but for a few it's really a "heureka" moment.