Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 year ago

Should I allow my ex to gf come in and out of my son's life?

I have a son with my ex girlfriend. She had custody at first but I got custody beacuse she wasn't being a good mother. Now I have custody, she doesnt come over to see him or get him or pay any attention to him. She only comes to see him for 30 minutes then leaves then is gone for several months. Now She's been out of reach for 7 months with no contact, and she calls and saids she wants to get him with no explanation of why she disappeared. What do I do about it

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  • 1 year ago
    Favorite Answer

    I don't think it's fair on the child to have her coming in and out of his life like that, just because she is his mother that doesn't give her the right to play around with his feelings and he is going to be feeling very confused and then abandoned again if she doesn't maintain contact properly.

    Children need stability and not a parent who visits briefly and then dissapears for months only to return again, that is just too much emotional instability for him and I would be telling her that she either commits to being a full and long term part of his life or stays away competely and you will deal with any questions he has as he gets older or even now if the time is right.

    You have custody and if she wants visitation she could always go to a court and request it which might make her realize this is something she needs to take seriously, I would personally refuse but if you are going to agree then she needs to understand that it's all or nothing, if she lets him down again then there will be no more chances because his needs and feelings are the priority here not hers.

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  • Liz
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    If she has a court order giving her visitation rights, it's not up to you to deny her those rights. If she doesn't have a court order and you refuse to let her see her child, she will get one. Trust me, this is not the hill you want to die on. Allow her access, even if she's flaky as heck. If you try to turn this into a fight, you will lose and it will cost you a lot of money, being dragged through court and being painted as the petty parent who won't allow his child access to both parents.

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  • 1 year ago

    Thats not fair to the child

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  • 1 year ago

    Iihfg

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  • Mich
    Lv 4
    1 year ago

    If your son is an adult itd none of your business

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