How do I get over my fear and PTSD from hurtin' others in sparrin'?

Origin: I've been raised in a fightin' family and I've been trained by my dad in boxin' when I was 5 just the basics before I headed into Jiujitsu when I was 6-12, Muay Thai 9-12, and Tokyo Karate (Nanzenkai to be specific) for about three months after I left Muay Thai and Jiujitsu, and my grandpa... show more Origin: I've been raised in a fightin' family and I've been trained by my dad in boxin' when I was 5 just the basics before I headed into Jiujitsu when I was 6-12, Muay Thai 9-12, and Tokyo Karate (Nanzenkai to be specific) for about three months after I left Muay Thai and Jiujitsu, and my grandpa who is an ex marine taught me krav maga and weapon trainin' like ASP Batons, Karambits, tonfas, and other fun toys (Lol. ) for about a year. I'm always lookin' to learn and fight more but the thing is...

I once mercilessly beat this kid in elementary school in a moment of anger because he thought he was my bully and I developed a PTSD because of it and it sometimes limits me from even makin' contact with people durin' sparrin'. How do I get over this to start hittin' people and performin' better the way I used to?
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