How is this plot line?

Short story ideas

12 year old Girl named Amira sees fox in the woods. It’s domestic.

Parents don’t like the fox. Parents like brother better than her because he wants to be a pilot.

She keeps it in her room as a secret. Sometimes the fox makes noises but she cannot understand him.

One day after school when her parents aren’t home she lets the fox outside.

It starts running into the forest and she chases it alarmed.

Runs through Michigan cherry orchard and out to the shoreline.

She falls into the sand (allusion of Alice in Wonderland) and goes to another world.

It’s snowy like Norway. Northern lights and imagery usage. The fox’s fur turns white. The fox welcomes her to his own world. Fox is named Ezra.

Owls honor her and welcome her.

Animals welcome her to this new world, but she’s concerned and wants to return home.

The animals tell her to see their leader, but are sad she wants to leave. She says it isn’t her home.

Goes on a quest to find the leader.

Eventually she looks at her reflection and is magically transported home.

Discovers no time has passed but feels like she should be grateful for her family.


Amira is mean to her parents

Update 2:

how to add originality/suggestions

Update 3:

update- she's a bad student and her bro is a good student so her parents prefer her bro. i've left out a bit of details so it would be concise, so please don't ask specific questions about the plot

7 Answers

  • Marli
    Lv 7
    1 year ago
    Favorite Answer

    It's like "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" and "Alice in Wonderland" Amira feels unappreciated by her family, like Dorothy Gale. Unlike Dorothy's dog Toto, the fox is a magical animal. Amira chases him and, like Alice, falls through a hole. This hole is in the sand at the lake shore. (Are there such deep holes in the sand? I see the foxhole in a wooded place.) She discovers she is in a magical place. She must go to "the leader" to find her way home. She has adventures on the journey, and the leader probably set her a great task. By accomplishing the task, Amira realizes the resources she has that will help her in her life. I think the character arc begins to rise at the bottom of the sandhole. The animals are kind and respectful to her, but she begins to appreciate her home, awful as her life seems there, and she exercises her capacities to get home.

    It's a good, partial skeleton (The adventures are missing here), as at least two authors and some folklorists have shown.

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  • 1 year ago

    I think it's not too bad so far. Unfortunately, it might not be seen as very original, at least, as you have outlined it here. An unexpected trip into a fantastic world populated by talking animals, and a quest to find a noble leader...very similar to a world that lies just beyond the doors of a certain wardrobe. That doesn't mean that your story is a loss, though. Any story out there will have elements from earlier stories. The key is to find ways to use those elements, but make them your own. Talking animals in a magical realm have been done a thousand times before, but what can you do to make a well worn trope new, or fresh? The element of a protagonist following a magical creature into a fantasy can you do it in such a way that is both memorable, and unique? Get crazy with the ideas, get downright trippy with them. Take old story elements, and twist them, fold them, break them to pieces. Like an old standard metal desk that you cut up, melt down, and turn into a bizarre sculpture that is, shockingly, still a desk, but like no desk anyone has ever seen. Have fun with your story, and don't get discouraged by some of the answers that you may get on sites like this. Good luck!

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  • 1 year ago

    How did the fox become domesticated?

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  • Tina
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    How does she feed the fox? - and really, they do smell quite strong. I don't think it would be a secret for long.

    And why do her parents prefer her brother because he wants to be a pilot? it sounds bizarre.

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  • 1 year ago

    There's very little conflict, no sense of any kind of character arc or any stakes for the character or what she'll lose. Amira has no goals and no motivation for her actions and she seems pretty flat (because no character arc is shown). no interesting themes seem to be explored in the plot. There needs to be more deep realization for her taking her parents for granted.

    These are all things worth learning about to enhance this story. It's only a skeleton at the moment so give it some flesh and some muscle.

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    • Lucy1 year agoReport

      Well, the themes are up too you. It's your choice which ones you want to explore.

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  • 1 year ago

    It's a pretty banal story as it stands, but a good writer could of course make a good story out of it.

    Whether YOU are that writer is open to debate.

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    There is no such thing as a domestic fox.

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