Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 year ago

How to become psychologically strong?

Hi there. I'm a 30 yo female, clinically depressed for the past 15 ys. For 10 ys I've been taking antidepressants. lt helps a bit, but not always. 😢

I suffered from sibling sexual abuse when was a child (not raped though), was bullyed in high school, had social phobia for years & years and after recovering said phobia, I got a job which lasted only 5 mo, due to some gastrointestinal problems & then I wasn't able to find a simple & honest job that would let me adapt and treat my chronic GI problem if I were to be employed. Also, being 30 and having only a 5-month work experience, makes it WAY harder.

So I've been unemployed for 4 miserable years and feel VERY unmotivated & useless. I live w/ my family (parents+2 older bros), they understand my problems and support me the best they can, but I absolutely ONLY let them help me just so I'm able to survive, they provide me with food, meds, water, electricity. I never buy clothes, shoes or bags. Whatever I need from them I buy the absolutely cheapest brands. Cause having worked so little in my entire life, even with the traumas, physical and psychological issues, I don't think I deserve nice and beautiful things and I don't feel like I need'em in order to just survive.

(more below, so sorry :/)

6 Answers

  • 1 year ago
    Favorite Answer

    About your chronic depression, there's a variety of things that can help. You say that therapists have given up. A poll has shown that a disturbing number of therapists neglect counseling their clients about the lifestyle choices that have been shown to help depressed people, and the evidence for lifestyle therapy is encouraging.

    The beauty of self-help is that you have a variety of low cost, low risk things that can be combined with each other, and with standard treatments with office visits. While it's not clear at this time that any one of these things is as effective as an antidepressant, it's common sense that if a variety of reasonably good things are combined with each other, they will have considerable effect.

    You can get details in this answer, under DEPRESSION TREATMENTS, which has information about lifestyle therapy and evidence-based CBT self-help.

    If you can't get the world's best therapist, you can still get the world's best CBT self-help.

    Of all the basic lifestyle choices, the one with the best evidence is exercise, and you don't have to be an athlete to benefit from it. Research shows that when people suffering from depression go for long walks with family or friends, this is very therapeutic (source - the lifestyle-depression project at the University of Kansas). Things that take your mind off your problems for a while, like a funny movie, are helpful, as long as you don't let them dominate you.

    Of all the traditional mind-body practices (meditation, tai chi, etc.), the one with the best evidence for affecting mood disorders is yoga breathing. Slow breathing is used for treating anxiety, depression, panic disorder, and PTSD. It's safe and it doesn't take any training. You can find out about the work of psychiatrists Richard Brown and Patricia Gerbarg and PTSD therapist Emma Seppala in my recent answers.

    About your employment problem, you might find that the methods I've just mentioned will improve you resilience in job-hunting. Also, there's an organization that's been rehabilitating people with disabilities for generations - Goodwill Industries. They even help ex-convicts.

    Although it might sound crazy, don't dismiss the idea of taking an aptitude test, the kind a psychologist gives. The process of test taking could stimulate useful brain-storming.

    You might be considering education. Lawrence Shatkin wrote very good books on choice of careers and majors in college. US News & World Report has an annual book on colleges.

    You've been told that all the good jobs require lots of education, but if you do some research, search with "jobs that don't require high school/college" you'd probably be surprised.

  • 1 year ago

    So whats wrong? You wrote all those words but never identified any specific problems. Do you want me to guess? You mentioned clinical depression. It sounds like BPD concurrent with a few other things. Could be CPTSD, no one can tell you based upon the information you gave.

    Are you an empath? That might have a lot of impact too. You are not American? I can't imagine you are 30, can write a troll (message) like this and can't better articulate specific symptoms. If it really just is treatment resistant chronic depression numbing your emotions or removing emotional connectivity is what you really need.

    For some reason your emotions are dysfunctional which impacts mood and behavior right? This impacts intimacy, relationships, cognitive function and everything else. This causes you to be sick, agitated, unmotivated and many other things.

    A person with 15 yrs of chronic depression usually can not find the tools to be less sensitive to failure or overcome it on their own. You can't see inside like someone else can. You can feel the pressure, bad energy and tension. Though your eyes, mind and senses look outward. You work with someone who can "see" inside. YOu find someone who will listen, encourage and not judge - its hard. You are living with the siblings that sexually abused you ? That's fu*ked up.

    I am not really asking so you will answer, its hard to chat here in comments. But do you suffer from dissociation? How are relationships? Why aren't parents helping a lot more? Are you writing a book - sounds like you might be. If you want a title slapped on you CPTSD. Your primary issue is probably: experiential avoidance

    You expressed that here: consulted with

    - 4 different psychologists for the past 6 mo

    - I fail, and the cycle repeats itself.

    TFCBT is probably better than CBT as mentioned. Adding a spiritual element (holistic) is probably very beneficial. Picking up some type of mindfulness ought to be invaluable. Because you do not feel pharmacology helps you a lot (drugs) stopping all the drugs and replacing it with herbs (GABA, 5-HTP & 10 other things), replacing drugs with needs based therapy Replacing the drugs with a person who will hold you accountable, give you respect while maintaining some type of rules and boundaries allowing you to grow and be tough.. But not allowing you to temper tantrum or manipulate that matters. You most likely come with a lot of drama. So, someone who is going to push back on that. While it sounds odd at times regression, going back to child hood, not to deal with problems or trauma. But using tools/strategies you used when younger. Or a more vulnerable/innocent approach (coloring/art therapy)….. That helps some - not everyone. Something like ACT or DBT could be used for the Intrapersonal issues along with relaxation therapy.

    If you are not trolling there is a lot going on. It all depends on your specific goals and objectives what you want to address first. and what kind of solutions feel right or make sense to you - we don't know. You will probably never hustle. Your brain is changed. That is probably part of the avoidance..... Just because you don't hustle doesn't mean you dont kick aS%...

    Source(s): Patient: Information, Education & Awareness - Chief Listener
    • ...Show all comments
    • 1 year agoReport

      Thank you so much for spending your time on my cause. All the best!

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  • zeno
    Lv 6
    1 year ago

    Read the book ( for women only ) self help

    Books reduce your problems and help you

    Understand what caused them and changes

    Your views on the past.

    • 1 year agoReport

      Ohhh good idea, thanks!

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  • GA41
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    I am sorry you are hurting. I believe your problems are with your thought processes. Your thoughts produce the emotional turmoil you are experiencing. Therefore, to make a true and lasting change you must transform your thoughts. I would try to ween myself off the drugs. I would memorize and embrace the following sage advice from the Chinese which is 2000 years old. --->"the key to ultimate happiness is to let go of worry and regret and to know that being happy is one of life's most satisfying feelings. Allow positive and uplifting thoughts outshine and overwhelm any sadness which is hidden in the recesses of your mind. Knowing that disease and disaster are a natural part of life is the key to overcoming adversity with a calm and happy spirit. Happiness is waiting for you, only you can choose whether or not to receive it.".

    • 1 year agoReport

      Thank you so much for your kindness. I'll take every good advice -like yours- in consideration. Have a wonderful evening 😊

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  • 1 year ago

    The greatest inventors have failed thousands of times before they were successful. Swiper (Dora the Explorer) tried a bunch of times to steal something he he’s never succeeded. Does he give up. No. Look at Wild E. Coyote. Try and try and failure each time but does he give up. No. Eminem was booed off stage but did he give up. No. He kept on rhyming.

    • 1 year agoReport

      Sorry, but apart from the Eminem bit, I got the impression you were mocking me. Dora the Explorer and Wild E. Coyote, really?? I don't see how someone else's turmoils would be so amusing to anyone, but whatever.

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    (continuing my question)

    My main issue now is: I have a serious problem overcoming my failures!!! if I fail at anything, like a job search, a job interview, my diet, etc. Then I start crying almost non-stop for days, and during that time I basically give up on my dreams. When I feel a little better, I try to pursue my dreams again, but am demolished again if I fail, and the cycle repeats itself.

    I really need your help, cuz I've already consulted with 4 different psychologists for the past 6 mo. But none of them know how to help me, as if I were an unsolveable case.

    Back to the main point. How can a depressed person find strength when failure comes? My dream is to be TOUGH and hustle and always keep fighting no matter how much I fail!

    So sorry for the long text . Thank you sooo much! 🙏🏽

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