Family tells me I emotionally abuse my son. They tell me that I am unstable. Therapists have said otherwise?
How do I stop abusing my son? My family is convinced that the few times every 4 or so months that I stick to my guns on an issue is abusive. My son and I have been to counseling and I have never been told that I am crazy or abusive. But clearly I am since those who love me most, including my son, are telling me otherwise. How do I stop this behavior? My son and I rarely aregue so it is difficult to learn to hold me temper when I am so very rarely angry. What can I do to stop this maddnese I am creating?
- RonLv 62 years agoFavorite Answer
Sticking to your guns sounds ok, but I wonder about what, or how often. It is fine and correct to have "bottom lines" and "house rules" but, just as in every form of government, if your rules are excessive and/or impossible to enforce then the subjects do not feel respectful of authority, hence conflict and drama.
In my experience as a father, children do not want anarchy. They want stability and predictability far more than they want unlimited freedom. What you fear is probably not real. They don't want to live without ANY parenting. They want parenting that is respectful.
So, what are your rules? Let's discuss.
The second point you bring up is your temper. Imagine what you would say to a cop who has his hand on a gun. Unless you really are crazy, you would probably not threaten, belittle, mock, or scream curses at that cop because that would not be good for you.
If so, then you owe that kind of self-control to everyone you meet. Not just cops. Not just strangers on the street. Not just to your boss or your customers. Everyone.
Just because your loved ones are safe to rage at, does not make it right.
You park that rage. And you let it out where it IS safe...in the gym, or the track, or rowing machine, or karate dojo.
- Pearl LLv 72 years ago
ask god to help you with that
- Anonymous2 years ago
It sounds like your family is very manipulative. Don't allow them to tell you how you should bring up your son. You don't indicate your son's age, but if you can talk to your son, you could always make certain that your son is in agreement with what you say. If he is not in agreement, you can always discuss it. Your family should stay out of your business. Truly - if you were abusive, wouldn't your family call the authorities on you? Have they ever done that? The only problem here is that you did not give an example on why the family says that you are emotionally abusive. If you feel you are in the right with your son, then you are the parent. Do what you feel is best and stop listening to the family.