Being a nanny means you are very close to the subject, and it can be difficult to remember you are in a business arrangement. It feels very personal, and that's because you are young and have let it become that. And yeah, these days, 12 years old may as well be 45- they're tough, and often unpleasant, and your age difference just isnt enough for that.
Speak to the parents without the children around. Let them know you have decided to move on,and give them a date upon whihc you WILL leave. DOn't list all the problems of low pay or using your own vehicle- because you don't want them to decide to try and win you back by paying you more. You want OUT. So tell them you will be leaving as of such and such a date, and that is that.
Don't tell them you haven't bonded with their children, or their 12 year old is an entitled disrespectful brat even if she is. Just say the time has come for you to move on, and don't go into details. None of that is going to benefit you in any way for having said it, nor is it going to fix them. These are their flesh and blood, and while they may recognize some of the problems, making them a reason for you to be leaving doesn't mean they won't decide to turn on you.
Let them know when you will be going, and say nothing but whatever nice things you can think of. The kids haven't set any fires (that you have mentioned), and it's perfectly normal for little ones to miss a beloved grandmother, or for a newly minted teen with emerging hormones to test your resolve. This is as much a testimony to your abilities as it is of the challenges parents go through, especially with kids of very different ages. You were too young for these two, and they need someone who rules with an iron fist. Exit gracefully and succinctly, and do not EVER tell other people your stories about this family. Part of working for a family is keeping their privacy, and part of being professional is not telling the rest of the world about their business or their challenges. Nothing good will ever come of it if you do.
Thank them for your time with their family, and exit as if you were simply moving away or going back to college. This has been part of your education, and while you may not have solved anything, you were reliable and did your best, and that is all anyone can really ask. Your job wasn't to provide therpay for their five year old, or discipline for their 12 year old. It was to keep them relatively safe and where they should be when they should be there. That's more than enough.
When you go to do your taxes, you can deduct for all the mileage you put on your car- there will be a certain "cents per mile" that somewhat makes up for the gas, maintenance and wear and tear on your vehicle. Make sure you put in for that. And when you negotiate a new situation, go over exactly what you are going to be expected to do, and if your vehicle is involved, make sure what you get paid covers that- not only the use of your car, but the time you are driving it. And contact your insurance company, because it needs to be put on your insurance that you are transporting kids you care for. They might not actually be covered, if you don't.
You've learned some lessons here- so sit down and look up some nanny contracts online, and get abetter idea of what you would want for next time.
And make sure to ask this family for a *letter* of recommendation- they owe you that. You may be weary of the job, nut you've done it, and they should be able to recommend you for it in the future. It's a reasonable request, no matter what you tell them you will be doing after you leave.
10 years as a nanny
· 6 months ago