We set ourselves up with expectations and self rewards by admitting trusted persons worldviews, buying into cultural norms and even our own machinations. I think we can all agree life shouldn t suck. That s what I m working on. What did I do to myself and how can I undo it. Here are some things that worked for me. I made a deliberate effort to <not> take myself seriously. To stop being the center and start being the room. Become aligned with the group objective rather than my own objective. Realize that in individuals interactions a smaller part is actually purposeful and most people cannot communicate to me the feelings imposed on me so they cannot be deliberate. This helped a lot and it took under a year. Big return.
Most people forget that anger, greed, selfishness, envy, are all bad feelings. If your falling to some place from above and you can wave your arms to steer between admiration and envy; who would chose envy? Admiration and gratitude are excellent feelings.
I think nature is responsible for the authenticity paradox. Why drugs and self delusion are not effective, Somehow we know that acting purposefully is important. So to remove obstacles I m working now on punitive feelings. This is much more complicated and dangerous too because it is so integrated into society that people pick up on missing queues to form seriously wrong conclusions. People like to share punitive emotions too. Empathetic responses become exaggerated when you begin to see the root causes of misfortune that were covered up by anger or one-sided views. This drove me nearly into depression and it's a long haul getting through punitive mental paths. So far I m getting modest results in mood but wisdom is growing.