So me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years. We have lived together since January of this year. This past month we have been fighting non stop., pretty ugly almost break up fights.
We are still together but, he says he “feels lost with us.” He basically told me he feels like he doesn’t know what to say and that he is exhausted with the fighting which I understand.
It’s literally only been two days since we “made up.” For lack of better terms. We had a lot of what I thought was make up sex however, he just told me he still feels lost.
Am I wasting my time here? I truly don’t want to lose him and I also don’t want to keep bugging him. Any advice please?
- pit bulls biteLv 72 years ago
- 2 years ago
You all need to have a serious talk and figure out what is missing from the communication in the relationship
- TorchbugLv 72 years ago
It can be difficult sharing a living space with another human being, whether they are a lover or just a roommate. Compromise needs to happen. Calm, respectful discussions need to happen. Dishes need to get done. Bills need to be paid. Make these a priority and try not to sweat the small stuff. "Choose your battles" as the saying goes. Which means, not everything is worth fighting over, just the most important stuff. It should be possible for two grown adults to have disagreements and discussions without shouting or saying stupid things to hurt each other, most of the time. Why are you fighting so much and what do you fight about? Trust? Money? Emotional needs? The cap on the toothpaste? Figure out what the real issues are and what the important issues are, and focus on those. One at a time. I don't know how it would be "bugging" him to want to work things out. Ignoring your problems won't make them go away. Even if you break up and move out, the next relationship you have will probably have similar issues, until you learn how to navigate through them.
- MamawidsomLv 72 years ago
I don't want to upset you, but you may be wasting your time. The two of you moved in together way too soon. You both need physical and emotional space from each other. The reason he is lost is that he's come to realize that he is in way too deep -- you really barely know each other, and you are living together, and your lives, choices, actions, and futures are entangled. Maybe he doesn't want to settle down. Maybe he doesn't want you telling him what to do. Maybe he doesn't want responsibility for your welfare and dreams.
The best thing you can do is to separate physically. One or both of you need to find a new place to live as soon as is reasonably possible. When you are no longer sharing the shopping and bill paying and toilet cleaning, and don't have to ask permission to do what you want to do, it will be easier for each of you to sort out your feelings and well as your goals. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you can share your lives.