How do I cope with the pain this Christmas?

Growing up I was rejected by my Mom's side of the family. They did not want a relationship with us my Mom would tell me and then when I'd see a cousin of mine and learn of the family getting together I would feel rejected and like I was missing out on fun times. All through my childhood the holiday season... show more Growing up I was rejected by my Mom's side of the family. They did not want a relationship with us my Mom would tell me and then when I'd see a cousin of mine and learn of the family getting together I would feel rejected and like I was missing out on fun times. All through my childhood the holiday season was then my Mom would up her anger at her family and tell us kids that they did not want a relationship with our family. Her father was an alcoholic and she would tell us if he loved us he would have gotten help. This all really hurt me and we were generally estranged for 7 years from my Mom's side. Then I began contact when in high school and old enough to. I got to know them. By college I was seeing them a lot but still overlooked for family events sometimes, other times my grandmother would ask me. We still missed holidays as I was overlooked because people assumed I was with my parents and my Dad's side of the family (his family was close to us and still is).

So long story short, every Christmas I experience the pain of my immediate family not being close as kids to my Mom's side of the family. I feel the rejection I felt when told "Mom's family doesn't want a relationship with us". This really hurt me. My parents don't get it. I am 30 now and in pain every Christmas cause we have to do individual visits when everyone else gathers together. Yet, when I invited myself a couple times my Mom's brother and his wife who host everything were uncomfortable and cold.
Update: That likely was rude of me and I have not done that in 8 years.


How do I cope this year at Christmas with the pain of being rejected by my Mom's half of the family and the loss of not having the joy my cousins get to have.
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