Ladies? Help I’m so confused?

The father of my 17 month old who hadn’t been around at all and only comes over to see him son once a week without bringing him anything just text me saying he wants to come pick my son up and take him to his moms crib without me.. he has another daughter with another woman and he wants both kids to spend time together with the family.. he hasn’t been taking care of my son at all and we’re currently going through the child support process and he’s been getting me to drop the case saying he would help me with $60 every two weeks. I used to take the baby to his mom myself she’s very nice and she has nothing to do with his sons behavior but still everything is getting to me now and I don’t even feel like taking my son to her crib. He doesn’t come and spend time with his son so why should I let him come get my son and take him anywhere without me. I don’t even trust him. He wanted me to abort him while I was pregnant. He wasn’t there for my pregnancy and I went through labor alone..

10 Answers

  • 2 years ago

    You say he hand't been around well who has your self ? no don't let your ex take him not yet let him come more around him when the day comes and you feel it and can trust him and support you then he can be alone with him.

  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    you chose poorly to make a child with him,,, that makes it your fault

    if he is the reckless scum that makes you the smarter of the two parents?

    this is your fault and you need to suck it up and deal with it

    you should have put the child up for adoption at birth but you didn't

    what were you thinking OH YOU DID NOT NOT THINK

    you will get all that go after him in the courts crap...

    but the child will have a crap life no matter what because your not a good mom letting all this be a problem ,,, he would make a deal I bet but you are about power and control not doing what is right

    no stop whining get your act together and agree on a scheduled but be flexible and stop trying to make him miserable and using the child as a club to him with

    oh all those saying no go after him yadi yadi and will scream and so will you if and when he just stops coming over to see the child completely

    he is a deadbeat dad,,, and you are a dead beat mom

  • 2 years ago

    Your story conflicts itself in the first sentences. You say he hasn't been around at all, but then say he sees his son once a week.

    You're already in negotiations for child support, you obviously don't settle that out of court. But he wants to see his child. Let him. Withholding his access to his child is using the child as a pawn, and there's nothing right about that.

  • Tulip
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    Why has this exact crap been posted before

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  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    It’s awesome he has a grandma that loves him and wants to be part of his life. Who cares about the deadbeat dad. Don’t punish the child by withholding him from people that do love him and care for him. Grandma can be a great support for you.

  • 2 years ago

    it sounds suspicious of him thats for sure

  • Eva
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    Don't drop the support case. You need to have something in place long term, since I doubt you'll see the $60 on any kind of consistent basis.

  • 2 years ago

    Proceed with your formal child support arrangement. You know that he will: a) never pay it, and b) $120 isn't nearly enough even if he did, so you need it in writing and with the law to enforce it.

    A visitation schedule will also be arranged by the court.

    You absolutely do *not* withhold visitation from your son. Those are his family members for life and however you feel about his father, your son needs to know him and know his extended family on that side.

  • helene
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    I wouldn't do it. He doesn't want to pay child support and all of a sudden wants to take the kid away, before the court case is resolved? He might never bring the kid back, and the police wouldn't be able to do much about it.

    Tell him he can plan all the family weekends he wants after child support and visitation issues are settled by the court.

  • 2 years ago

    Why on earth would he think you'd agree to THAT.

    Sure, if he is suddenly showing an interest you shouldn't block your son from seeing him, but it has to be a gradual process in which you trust him to be reliable. Sending him off with a virtual stranger is tantamount to child abuse.

    First let him show you that he's now to be trusted to be around consistently.

    You're right. You SHOULDN'T let him come and get his son and he has no right to do so.

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