How do I get over the heartbreak this Christmas and Thanksgiving of my mother banning me from seeing my Dad and his family?

As well as the heartbreak that he is not taking her to court over it? My mother has used me to get him back for leaving her. She insults him daily to me with no concern for how it makes me feel. Meanwhile he won't fight for the right to see me. I am torn apart by both parents and only 15. Christmas and... show more As well as the heartbreak that he is not taking her to court over it?

My mother has used me to get him back for leaving her. She insults him daily to me with no concern for how it makes me feel. Meanwhile he won't fight for the right to see me. I am torn apart by both parents and only 15. Christmas and Thanksgiving are hell with this. I already feel a nod in my stomach knowing it will be here in 2 months. It is a day of all rejection and loss and my mother makes it SO MUCH worse and won't stop.
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