I Don’t want my Girl talking to this specific guy?
So don’t get me wrong I have no problem with my girl talking to guys. I really don’t. I truly trust her. But a few weeks ago, with this one guy, they had been doing way more than I would ever feel comfortable with. 1) They would text each other NONSTOP and even say good morning and good night. I mean that’s already crazy but I didn’t get mad. 2) my girlfriend literally said “had I known this boy 2 years ago, our relationship would be very different.” (I didn’t even get mad about that either) but 3) They went out of class into the hallway to talk and spent 30 minutes outside. When she told me this I was just like “you know I don’t like that right?” and from then on we had issues with the entire situation. I’m not forcing her to not be friends with him but I have told her I feel uncomfortable with this and that it isn’t because i don’t trust her but because of all this that happened. The problem is my gf doesn’t have many friends and has anxiety and she’s telling me that she doesn’t know whether or not to stop talking to him. Because for me I just now feel entirely uncomfortable with the situation. I’m putting this on here because I’m looking for advice and an unbiased opinion. What do you guys think about this and what do you think I should do? Thank you.
- 2 years ago
Don't speak of her like she's property or somehow expected to be subservient to you. You're basically encouraging her to break up with you. So don't.
- seedy historyLv 72 years ago
I think when she chose to leave class and spend half of it with him outside the classroom... she was clearly prioritizing him. He was either in total crisis mode or he wasn't. If he was... choosing your gf to rescue him fits in with their very recent pattern of behavior. If he was not... he was exercising his potential power over her and it seems he has quite a lot. He clearly has designs either way. Whether that makes you uncomfortable or not isn't really the issue at this point. She ditched class and prioritized him. And doesn't want to stop doing so.
You have no power to prevent her from doing what she wants. If you feel ditched or disrespected, you do have the power to decide how YOU want to deal with it. You have power over you and your choices. Not hers. I think that ditching class to rescue him if he WASN'T in crisis mode is a declaration of priorities that slipped you out of the loop. It's possible that your gf isn't aware of the ramifications of her actions. It's possible she's being lead along by the nose. It's possible she's so flattered by his attentions that she meant even more than she said when it came to reason #2. I'd certainly question which one it is and find out, for sure, where she's coming from. Not where you are coming from but where she is. Listen for the honesty. He might be a flash in the pan either way though.
- 2 years ago
EDIT: guys i’m the asked of the question and I have talked to her. In fact, I’ve told her everything from what I’m not comfortable with to how I feel but she firmly believes this is going to change.