Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 year ago

Secretive boyfriend, Lied to me, cheating, How to handle this situation?

My boyfriend just went on a trip to Alaska. He told me he was going alone to do hiking which I thought was odd but after not hearing from him for a few days I got worried and decided to due a search of his name to make sure there weren't any news articles.

By accident, I ended up finding a profile on a website of his showing how he is searching for girls to meet in Alaska this week.

I'm really heartbroken.

When I found out, he finally responded to my messages (which he had obviously been ignoring) saying it was true and he has been with a girl hiking for a few days, even camping out and sharing a tent with her. He said nothing happened though and he decided he doesn't like her and wants to still be with me.

I feel completely betrayed. He wants me to give him another chance but I don't know if I can. If anyone else reading this was in my position, what would you do?

12 Answers

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  • Katzen
    Lv 5
    1 year ago
    Favorite Answer

    Who cares if he was hiking with just one girl and "nothing happened" (according to him). The fact of the matter is he was trying to cheat on you. Trying to cheat is just as much a betrayal as doing it, obviously.

    What's messed up about this is that it wasn't like it was some accident because he got too drunk at a bar and had a momentary lapse of judgement one night, but that he planned the whole thing. That's the difference between involuntary manslaughter and first-degree murder (there's a reason why the two crimes get different prison sentences).

    Also, the nerve of this man to not respond to your message for ages, until he finally was bothered to do so. He sounds like a very typical narcissist (only cares about his needs). He was happy to just ignore you and let you be devastated (probably because he was still having his fun with the other woman), until he decided "nah I still want this woman to be my gf" so he started responding. Disgusting.

    Please, on behalf of all women everywhere that have been d*cked over by useless conniving jerks, please do the right thing and stand up for yourself and don't let this loser back into your life. Please don't be swayed by his fake words. I promise you you will find another man, you don't need this creep. You should be thanking your lucky stars that you discovered this side of him before you two got married or had children.

    • Lv 5
      1 year agoReport

      Great answer.

  • M.
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    Forget him.

    He's not worth it.

    Just stay away from him and stop communicating.

  • Teal
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    He lied to you, he cheated on you, and you have no idea if this was really the only time. If you want a committed relationship based on honesty and mutual respect, dump him now and move on. If you are willing to settle for what he has to offer, then accept that the occasional affair is the price you pay to be with him. Negotiate an open arrangement and set some boundaries so it isn't a surprise. He will not change and he has shown you exactly what kind of person he is. You aren't helpless and you need to take control of your own choices and your own happiness.

    • Lv 5
      1 year agoReport

      Great response.

  • 1 year ago

    I'd break up with him immediately. He's not committing a crime. But there's no reason for you to put up with a boyfriend picking up strange girls to play with. Doesn't much matter if he didn't really like THIS one or not... it's the fact he's shopping. Dear, he "Still wants to be with" you because he got caught and he hasn't found your replacement yet. But he's shopping. He's very actively shopping! Dump him.

    • Lv 5
      1 year agoReport

      Shows he doesn’t have his heart in a relationship with her. Sad.

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  • 1 year ago

    He's a guy... this is what they do.

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    what boyfriend? you are newly single girl!

    • Lv 5
      1 year agoReport

      Hahahahaha. Good answer.

  • 1 year ago

    I certainly wouldnt be taking him back, thats for sure.

    Regardless whether anything happened or not

    He went looking, he lied.

    End of

    You deserve better than that

    Why dont you think so too?

    • Lv 5
      1 year agoReport

      She ought to think so too.

  • Nothing happened? Yeah right. You should assume he had sex with her because he did, but more importantly, you should dump him immediately.

    • Lv 5
      1 year agoReport

      She sure ought to.

  • poldi2
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    Dump him. He cheated once, he will cheat again. He lied once, he will lie again. You deserve a boyfriend that respects you and the relationship.

    • Lv 5
      1 year agoReport

      Exactly. I know I wouldn’t take him back.

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Only you can decide. Personally, I would think he has shown his true character, and he will not change; probably for life.

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