It sounds like you are going through a lot right now. Thank you Jon for reaching out for help! Suicide is never the answer, as it is permanent and can never be taken back. Jon you have a full life ahead of you, and ending your life in your 20 s is not the answer. Suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse; suicide eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better. Jon If you feel like you cannot keep yourself safe right now, please seek professional help immediately.
Make sure that you tell someone about these thoughts, whether that be an adult that you trust, a counselor, or someone else close to you. It is important to have people who support you through this. Sometimes when people go through difficult or stressful situations, suicidal thoughts can arise. The important thing is to seek help from those around you, and to be honest with what you are thinking.
Sometimes it can help to talk to someone and tell them about what you are going through. Please know that there are people who can and will help you with what you are going through. You may want to consider talking with a counselor at a hotline. There are many hotlines that are 24/7 and will work with you and situations like yours. Some even have email and/or chat if you would prefer. Hopefully, you will continue to reach out! Jon, take care of your self and stay safe.