What am I facing in court?

Earlier today I was parked downtown, and I came out of the building with my meter one minute expired. This lady was writing me a parking ticket. I said to the meter maid: "HOW DARE YOU WRITE ME A TICKET! THAT'S IT, I AM GOING TO BITE YOU!" And as I walked towards her she was all... show more Earlier today I was parked downtown, and I came out of the building with my meter one minute expired.

This lady was writing me a parking ticket.

I said to the meter maid:

"HOW DARE YOU WRITE ME A TICKET! THAT'S IT, I AM GOING TO BITE YOU!"

And as I walked towards her she was all like:

"Nonononononononononononononononono..." and I bit her and she was all like: "WAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Just then a cop came up to the meter maid and was all: "What happened, why are you crying and bleeding?"

And the meter maid was all: "This man bit me."

And the cop was all: "Oh my freaking god how dare you bite the meter maid, thats it you are under arrest!"

I was booked and released on a $500 dollar bond. I have a court date next month. What am I facing in court?
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