Getting a dog to test our relationship?
So for years I've been wanting children with my current husband but he's been saying he would get one if I agree to get a dog. As this would prove if were ready for animals.
Now I don't like dogs. But is this a good compromise? He says its pretty much the same thing but cheaper and he said if he sees progress from 6 months to a year he will consider us trying to get pregnant.
Is this okay or legal?
- J CLv 72 years ago
That is the most ridiculous thing I've read so far today. Training a puppy has nothing in common with raising a child. Pups quickly grow into dogs that you can leave home alone when you go to work, go out for dinner, etc. If you go on vacation you put them in the kennel. Doesn't work out? Rehome the dog. You cannot do any of these with a human child, and you are 'stuck' with a huge financial and time commitment for 18 years plus. Don't get a pet you do not want, and it will in NO way shape or form prove that you are or are not ready to be parents. Your husband does not want children - wasn't this something you discussed prior to getting married?
- Anonymous2 years ago
I would suggest y U volunteer as a puppy raiser for some organization like service dogs or guide dogs, that would only require 1 year commitment, the dog will be temperamentally sound and healthy....... And best of that is the dog won’t be an experiment gone bad, locked for the rest of its life forgotten in a basement or outside on a 10 foot leash. You would also be helping out someone in great need of one of th we highly desirable dogs.
Yes getting a puppy, raising it correctly, spending proper time and effort in it is similar to raising kids with the exception when your frustrated with s pup it can be put in the kennel for your time out and it’s safety from chewing or eating something (7ntil it’s older pups are eating and chewing machines). For the sake of the dog mi suggest you do a temporary raising rather then get w dog that you may be stuck with for 10 to 18 years. It’s s big commitment honestly.... there’s shedding, pooping, peeing in wrong places, getting into things, destroying things running away, roughhousing with people etc etc.
They b Ed guidance, care, companionship, understanding, boundaries and rules just like a dtoddler and they tend to test their limits as a pup to see what hey can and might get away with...(sound familiar?). Please read up on it before you say yes, sure then bend up dumping the dog on death row.
- PRLv 72 years ago
Either he wants kids, or he doesn't. Then, what happens to the dog?
- Nekkid Truth!Lv 72 years ago
Raising a dog is NOT the same as raising children tho.
While both are an 18 yr commitment...
Dogs can be potty trained and taught basic manners within the first year or so.. But then they reach a point that they never progress any further in terms of independence.
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- E. H. AmosLv 72 years ago
Nothing about this is ILLEGAL but is is not "normal", smart or advisable. Getting a dog to "TEST" your relationship? Hmmm. What does he mean by this statement? Surely.... he has indicated WHY he thinks the relationship needs "TESTING".
1) Does he think one, or you or both of you are irresponsible, or too consumed by work?
2) Does he think one of you does an unfair SHARE of work in and around the home (now) and you do not DIVIDE UP the work evenly?
3) Or does he feel you cannot work well together as "PARTNERS" on something that requires you agree on, and be ON THE SAME PAGE about - like training and exercising and caring FOR the dog.
4) Maybe he thinks you (plural) may not be able to put the dog ahead of some thing BOTH of you may want to do, esp while still a needy puppy or he may want to see if he (or you) can live up to the far more simple responsibilities of raising a dog, well enough to indicate you CAN work together well enough, to parent a far MORE DEMANDING infant and child.
Many people I know do start with a dog, simply because it is simpler and gives them sort of an overview (of much more responsibility) with out so many strings. BUT they BOTH NEED TO WANT the dog, or IT WILL NOT WORK. In your case that is not TRUE therefore; it will NOT WORK (I do RESCUe and this is the NUMBER ONE REASON dogs are surrendered).
And re-homing the dog, even if you PROVE you can "DO IT" for 6 months is wrong and will hurt and confuse an innocent animal. Dogs are FOR LIFE; they are not "stocking stuffers" or child substitutes. The dog will bond to one or probably BOTH of you. It may not be able, to be re-homed with out developing major problems - like separation anxiety (and it could end up being PUT DOWN.) And if you drop it off at a shelter after age 6 months (when it no long LOOKS like a puppy) 75% of such dogs, do NOT GET ADOPTED before their time runs OUT. If you get a dog, it needs to be because YOU BOTH THINK it will ADD TO YOUR LIFE, and make your life more well rounded, not because it is a "test".
So, your husband CLAIMS, you need to get a dog FIRST, because you "have to pass a test" via the dog's care and ?progress? (for at least 6 months) for you to get "PERMISSION" to GET PREGNANT. (Nowhere do I see, that the dog needs to be a good breed FOR KIDS, btw.)
IMO, your husband is a controlling SICK EGG, and you BOTH NEED major marriage COUNSELING. I do NOT think he wants kids (or thinks you can HACK the responsibility) or you BOTH have major issues and do not need to have ANY KIDS at least not by EACH OTHER...... AT ALL. Sorry, but I would not let anybody manipulate ME this way. And that IS what he is doing.
You should have talked about kids BEFORE you got married - with a clergy member, preacher, priest etc. in the counselling sessions most churches OFFER. You should have talked about a NUMBER of subjects and come to firm agreement, on all of them. However, it seems you did not do much (if any) such TALKING. Better to know this, NOW. Go to counselling and see if this marriage can be saved, or not. Skip the dog.
- choko_canyonLv 72 years ago
Is it LEGAL? What would be illegal about it? Is it "okay"? Okay with who? This is one truly silly question, anonymous poster. So silly in fact that it makes me think you're trolling.
- BlessedLv 72 years ago
he would get a child if you let him get a dog? tell him to get lost
- Donnie PorkoLv 72 years ago
A dog is not like a kid. You can train a dog to behave within his first year of life. It’ll take more than a year to train a kid.
A kid is a 24 hour job. If it cries in the middle of the night, you’ll have to wake up and feed it, change the diaper, or whatever. You can leave a dog alone when it cries because it’ll eventually stop and learn.
If you don’t like the dog, you can give him away. You’re stuck with the kid.
- Elaine MLv 72 years ago
Don't do it. A dog can live 2 decades, are you willing and able to care for that animal for that long? Vet care per year for basics will be running you over $500 for checkups, vaccinations, rabies shot, heartworm meds, deworming, etc.
What happens when you can't handle a dog and a kid, or even just the dog? Your husband is coming at this *** backwards and I don't think you've thought this through very well.