Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 years ago

I’m 21 and I feel like my mom doesn’t ever make time for me?

I know 21 is an age where I shouldn’t be too worried about needing my mom very often- but there is a hole that I can’t help but feel needs filled. I have 5 younger siblings all the way down to 9 months old, and any and everything revolves around them. I get it completely, and am not trying to sound selfish; although, I can’t help but get upset over not ever having any personal time with my mom like I did all the way up until being 12 years old. I just graduated college and my mom said she wanted to take me out to dinner- but not even that has happened. The last time I did anything one on one with her was my birthday weekend, which I spent with my family and completely ditched the typical 21 parties to do so. That was about 7 months ago. I ask her constantly to just watch a movie, if I’m feeling ambitious I’ll ask to go to a movie, go to eat, just go to the store... but I just feel so desperate asking all of the time. As part of Mother’s Day I even told her I’d take her to eat and to get her nails done and she hasn’t even made time for that. I’m jealous of my siblings because they get every ounce of her time. I know she loves me, but I’m not sure what to do. She knows I feel this way, but has a “suck it up” attitude about it. I don’t have too many friends, so doing fun things with my family is my fun time. And unfortunately I don’t really know what do. Has anyone gone through this before?

4 Answers

  • Steve
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    Six kids is a lot. She’s done with you, legally, and you get that. She isn’t done with any of your minor siblings. She’s still responsible for them.

    If you want more time with her, negotiate for it. Don’t expect her to “make time” for you. She isn’t obligated to do that. You do have to suck that up. It’s reality.

  • Jay R
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    You received quality energy from your mother for quite a few years, did you not? She now has 5 other children to manage. Do you have any idea what it's like to have 5 kids? You're old enought to make a meaningful contribution to her happiness by helping her with your siblings. Instead of grousing about how absent she is, pitch in and join her team. She's likely exhausted. Be a good son/daughter and a good sibling now that you're an adult. There will be rewards.

  • 2 years ago

    thats cause your siblings are little, help her out with your siblings or housework so that way she can be with you that way

  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    You are 21, so act like it. You are still emotionally glued to your mom. Get out there and find friends of both sexes. You can still maintain contact with your mom and she with you. But you should start thinking beyond the child parent relationship.

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