Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 years ago

My Mom used me to get my Dad back after their divorce and it scarred me for life. Is this Parental Alienation?

She would give me WAY TOO much info about her view of the divorce. She would tell me our Dad would have been a better husband if he had really loved us. She would claim to her friends that we had no relationship with our Dad anymore and that her father, my maternal grandfather, was our father figure now. She would criticize all of my Dad's family to us.

Now years later I carry these wounds. I feel unending guilt that I believed my Mom as a kid and joined her in insulting our Dad. I am 34 and CONSTANTLY trying to make up to our Dad for what I did to him (what my Mom did and caused me to do).

So is this Parental Alienation and how do I overcome this?

Update:

Are there books for adult survivors of Parental Alienation?

2 Answers

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  • 2 years ago
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    While 100% inappropriate, bad-mouthing your dad is not parental alienation. Unless, of course she ACTUALLY keep you from seeing him. Nonetheless, as an adult, you have autonomy and full control over your life and you've had at least a decade to build a new relationship with your father. At this point, your guilt is not her fault and really just plain unnecessary. Perhaps instead of harboring resentment against your mother, have a discussion with her. Tell her how it affected you, tell her you want an apology, and then put it behind you.

  • 2 years ago

    You're mad because she told you the truth? Holy sh*t when will dumb bitvhes understand toxicity isnt good. Let me ask you something, was your dad a good dad?

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