Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 years ago

Best friend is crushing on a much younger guy?

I'm embarrassed for her, but I promise she's a good person who would never do anything wrong. She is 27 years old and works in customer service. She works with a slew of 16-17 year olds who are still in high school. There's one boy that she finds REALLY cute and she feels bad because he's a rising high school junior (he's almost 17, though). He has a girlfriend anyway, but even if he was single, she would NEVER do anything to him until he's 18...although the age of consent here is 16. Again, she feels terrible and I hate to see her tearing herself up about this. Is it okay for her to crush on said boy, as long as she doesn't do anything about it? She said he just reminds her of the type of guy she would've liked back in high school, that she's not going to fall for him or anything.


She can control her crush. By the way, it's not pedophilia. Technically speaking, it would be ephebophilia.

Update 2:

As I said, she's not going to DO anything about it. You said yourself that one can control their actions, not their feelings....she's controlling her actions. Also, he's the age of consent so technically, even if he were single (which he's not), it wouldn't technically be illegal for them to have sex. In addition, he IS taken and by somebody she says he seems to love so she is just admiring from afar.

Update 3:

No charles, the "she" is her. If it were me, I'd say "me" and "I'm". We're justifying it because people look at her like she's gross when she says she has a crush on him.

2 Answers

  • Janet
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    Your embarrassment is YOUR psychological work to overcome.

    She is free to do whatever she does (as long as it's not illegal, of course) ... and if it is a mistake, this is how we learn and grow.

    Don't interfere with HER learning.

    Focus on how YOU react and solve that within yourself.

  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    It’s pedophilia and it’s wrong

    You can’t help feelings but you CAN help actions.

    Here’s the key thing: This isn’t something that’s just “socially” wrong, like cheating on your boyfriend or being mean to your mom or dad. Doing this is a FELONY, a SERIOUS CRIMINAL CHARGE that will land her IN PRISON for YEARS.

    And when she finally got out of prison, she’d be a felon and a sex offender, on the sex offender registry and required by law to notify ALL future or current employers of her sex offender status. She basically would never get any good paying/fun jobs ever again in her life. She’d be stuck stocking the back unseen room of Giant/Safeway, or cleaning toilets.

    So although I don’t blame her for having feelings she can’t control... She should stay far away if she values her freedom and future ability to get jobs. She should quit working around the kids IMMEDIATELY. Don’t give a “reason”, just QUIT. Find a job around adults. Staying there even another second puts HER at risk

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