I can't get over being called ugly?

I put a lot of effort into my appearance. Just as much as any other girl my age. But I often get treat like i'm hideous by a few individuals in my year group at school. Now, I do get complimented a lot and a lot of people do, apparently, consider me to be far from it. But it just confuses the **** out of me that some guys can regard me as so objectively unattractive but others can regard me as so far from that. I, more than anyone, know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But I just can't comprehend how I can seem so objectively ugly and be treat like i'm low maintenance by some people but be attractive to others. I don't know how to put it into words but I feel like people must see me through different lenses because i've never known someone's looks to be so controversial. I feel like I must be hideously ugly sometimes because a guy referred to me as a 'lost cause' (basically saying I should stop wearing makeup because i'm ugly anyway, admittedly I have started wearing less since then) but I also get called beautiful, told that I should be a model, have sexually confused a girl who i'd say is conventionally beautiful and am followed home from school by guys in the younger years who yell 'fitty' at me lol. Can you see why i'm so confused? Also, I genuinely don't perceive people as ugly which makes this so much more daunting to me. I'm not going to provide a photo because I photograph too well and get accused of fishing for compliment every time I rant about this lol

1 Answer

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  • Tom
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    The reason this hits you so hard is because being attractive is what you believe gives you value. You may pay lip service to your character or personality (or that of others), but the reality is that you believe it's all about your looks. Therefore if someone attacks your appearance, they are attacking your very identity and value.

    Here's the thing, some people will think you're ugly. Everyone is ugly to someone and no one is attractive to everyone. I guarantee that there are guys who you think are unattractive (even if you don't like to use the word "ugly") and you wouldn't date them if your life depended on it. Does that make you a bad person? No. It makes you just like everyone else, including the people who call you ugly and wouldn't want to date you. We all have our preferences and we are entitled to have those preferences. Stop defining yourself by what one or a few people think of your appearance.

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