What can I do? I fear I may lose this amazing man. He is obese.?

Ive found my knight in shining armor! He's just an all-around awesome man. But there's one issue-well, at least for me...and that is that my bf is obese.

Now let me make this clear, although he is overweight, I am highly attracted to him. He was overweight when we met and quite frankly, I wasnt looking for anything serious but love has a way of just happening when you least expect it so I fell for him hook, line and sinker! But in the year we've been together he's gained a ton of additional weight.

This isnt solely about appearances as much as it is that now that I've found him, I dont want to lose him. I can only imagine a future where he is either bed-ridden or maybe worse-has a heart attack and passes away before I do. I dont want to live without him.

I have talked with him about making changes and even try to cook for him, and offered we can workout or do things together to make a difference and although he seems on-board with it, he often makes excuses or changes plans at the last minute. I understand that in order for a person to want help they have to see they need it and quite frankly, I know he's happy with himself as is. It makes me a little sad...because all I can see is something terrible happening to him and losing him forever. I will still love, cherish and want to be with him forever-but how can I get him to realize that as his waistline continues to grow, so do his limitations and his life. Please help. I dont want to lose him

5 Answers

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  • 2 years ago

    The irony of this is that he does mostly everything. We go for hikes together, we go to amusement parks-he can ride most of the rides. So, he's not super limited. He's a big guy and carries most of his weight in his gut so thats where my concern for heart attack or other weight issues come into play. Regardless, I just want whats best for him and to know that our future wont consist of long nights in the hospital.

  • 2 years ago

    medical help

  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    DONT TRY AND CHANGE ANYONE. IF YOU DO, YOU CAN LOSE HIM, by putting pressure on him to lose weight. IF he does not want to lose weight on his own, so be it. He does not care about his health, therefore he does not care about you. You have to love yourself, before you can love someone else. He has to try and change himself, for himself. You are a drama queen. "I DONT WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT HIM". LISTEN TO YOURSELF. SO, if he has a heart attack and dies, you are going to KILL YOURSELF? Get real. He is a walking time bomb. Its only a matter of time before his heart explodes. Don't become too attached.

  • 2 years ago

    One suggestion: convince him to get a health checkup from a doctor. Hearing from a doctor what his obesity does to his health, and the longterm impacts, might be more effective than hearing it from you. You don't have to be naggy. Let the doc be the bad guy.

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  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    You are just dating. You aren't married. Your job right now is to determine whether you're compatible or not.

    Do you want a husband and father of your kids who is obese and bed-ridden or dead of a heart-attack at 45? Do you want a husband/father who can't go for a hike, ski or run to catch a plane? It's a simple yes or no question. If the answer is no, then you need to go find another guy, because you and THIS guy do not share core values and you do not want the same things out of life.

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