Bubba asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 2 years ago

Whatcha think of this poem I wrote?

Everything is dark and cold

I can feel the walls closing in

I cant hear what I’m being told

I’m to blame for every sin

To the darkeness I’ve been sold

I know I’m truly trying

This hole i must get out

Inside I feel like crying

But I fail without a doubt

So I just sit here dying.

Can anyone hear my screams

See me falling apart

Ive come apart at the seams

Clutching my dying heart

Losing sight of all my dreams

I dont want to be here

I just want to cry

Im beyond help I fear

But i just want to die

I know thats hard to hear

Im trying to have hope

Im trying to hold on

My minds a downward slope

Ive crossed the line thats drawn

Im hanging on the rope

You asked me whats wrong

“Help” Im trying to ask

Ive held this in too long

Livings too hard a task

I can hear my funeral song

Why should I have life

I have nothing else to give

All it has been is strife

I dont want to live

I sit here holding the knife

They tell me to be brave

To find a reason why

Hope is all they gave

No matter how hard I try

I was the one they couldnt save

I know these are just words

I dont knmow what they mean

Out of everything Ive endured

This is like nothing that Ive seen

My “help” cannot be heard

I promise I tried to fight

I really didnt quit

I tried with all my might

The fire just never lit

So i went looking for the light

I dont think you’ll find me

Even if you go searching

I needed to be free

The dakness was always lurching

Please just leave be be

5 Answers

Relevance
  • 2 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    It’s good

  • 2 years ago

    You...and Cheesy? … 0 my, let the mad dance progress...carpe diem

  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    No its not good, but in the double mine (blues) and stead fast, is your own out come and not mine.

    Do I have any hope do I?

    Yes, yes and No, no... be brave.. its not the end unless You say so

    But if you keep this type of thoughts of,

    This is the end

  • 2 years ago

    it could have ended just a bit sooner

    delete a couple unneeded lines and it be fine

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  • 2 years ago

    Clichés never go out of style

    But dig a little deeper

    Show us the hatred and bile

    When you killed your mom's housekeeper

    Did you wear a secret smile?

    Now you're rotting in a cell

    Saying "please just leave me be!"

    It's a special kind of Hell

    One that you can touch and see

    And, of course, I'm sure you smell...!

    :O

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