What should I do? My life sucks and I think of him as my salvation, should I go and look for him?

Please read it til the end and give me your sincere advice. I am a migrant girl (white but not christian). I wear just like western girls. I was born in a country where I was badly bullied for my origins (broken nose, racist teachers, some of them were just bigots and other gave me 8 when I deserved 9,5 or 10... show more Please read it til the end and give me your sincere advice. I am a migrant girl (white but not christian). I wear just like western girls. I was born in a country where I was badly bullied for my origins (broken nose, racist teachers, some of them were just bigots and other gave me 8 when I deserved 9,5 or 10 basically the other kids would do nothing at school they weren't able to learn the simplest concepts but teachers encouraged them and treated them right, I was always treated like a piece of s***). Anyway, in high school a teacher mobbed me everyday together with the principle (he knew it but he said it was my fault) but didn't allow me to change school (I wanted to change school in order not to be psychologically abused by them, then I managed it but with a lawyer, because they didn't allow me to). Result? I am depressed, my grades don't count anything in a racist country. I went away from it but I'm sad about my life and the dreams I had as a kid. Everything is worthless. I want to find the boy I fell in love at first sight when I was 13. He was kind amd polite, and as beautiful as an angel. He was sad too because he had to sell things (he was a street seller) to help his family. I don't know maybe he will understand me and accept me for who I am. I am craving for someone to love me. I would love him with whole my heart. What should I do? Find him or he'll think I am crazy?
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