Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 2 years ago

My aunt is either narcissistic or borderline personality disorder. What is the difference in the two?

My mother is trying to get her to get help. The aunt maintains she is fine and everyone else is the problem (mainly her siblings and her son). She adores her daughter and dumps on her son to everyone. Her symptoms are below.

1. Her childhood was stable other then being bullied at school.

2. She will take the smallest slight and make it astronomical. For example she wrote an email to all her nieces and nephews explaining how bad her son's behavior and yet all the accusations were normal teen mistakes. Or when my mother pulled away from the aunt cause of her drama the aunt pulled me aside and bashed my mother for an hour.

3. Before having kids she was always very pleasant. I was just a kid but don't recall any fear of her or people feuding with her. (her kids are now 24 and 21).

4. She distorts her stories to the point of claiming her husband had an affair when he clearly didn't and accusing my uncle's wife of trying to "win her husband over". Somehow her husband has stayed with her but he does as she demands.

5. She can be very sweet and caring and a flat out bully. She is highly opinionated but very loving to those she does love.

6. She does not seem to think about others unless it is someone who makes her feel guilt and then she is absolutely wonderful to them.

7. She is very charitable and very hateful at the same time.

8. Her friendships seldom last.

9. She seems depressed with life.

10. She was spoiled as a child by her mother after her Dad died.


So would this be narcissism or Borderline Personality? I always assumed she was a narcissist but my mother says it is BPD and my brother's ex had that. However, his ex was never as hostile or as likely to expect praise.

3 Answers

  • Anonymous
    2 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    She sounds like maybe she's ill or just selfish, but idk as i dont know how is her thinking process. BPD does not always mean you are selfish and mean to others. If I had to guess I'd say she is very complicated on the inside and not thinking things through or considering others that often maybe. Really, she just sounds like a very little kid who didn't get their way. maybe she is in pain and is using a very bad coping mechanism, hurting others and causing chaos. or maybe she just likes to do those things for no reason idk. i have no idea though if she is a narcissist or bpd, I think you have to see a psychiatrist to be diagnosed with those.

  • 2 years ago

    Just like someone i actually know, who is, a narcissist. She also has bipolar disorder (or claims to, but i don't believe that one -- i think she's simply emotionally childish)

  • 2 years ago

    probably not much of a difference

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