Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 years ago

Is it wrong to negatively judge a woman (morally) by her number of sexual partners?

My question is based on theories of male and female roles in the game of pursuit. I've read a lot of things trying to break down why its good for a man to have a lot of sexual partners, and why it's bad for a woman. Most of these theories say because it's not easy for a man to have sex. Men traditionally approach and pursue, women choose., In other words, men have to work. Women work less; they have to say yes in order to have sex, because usually they are the ones approached. Obviously this is a generalization, but as liberal and openminded as I am I find this to be mostly true (looking at most social situations). Expanding on this, some theorists say that the biology of humans provides a basis for the set up of this game; women have a limited number of eggs while men can produce much more sperm over the course of a lifetime.

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Why can't a woman or a man look at that game above and say screw those roles? Problem is, I feel like I'm an oddity. Instead of destroying the game by opening sexuality to women and praising them as well, I feel like men should close down their sexuality to match that of women's. I don't think men or women (who are interested in having a long term, monogamous relationships) should have a multitude of sexual partners. Everyone should be more picky. But is there any real basis for my suggestion? Or is this "traditional idea of mine more likely to be a manifestation of some insecurity?

Update:

PLEASE READ THE DESCRIPTION, NOT A BLACK AND WHITE QUESTION!

2 Answers

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  • 2 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    It's good to pay attention to people's behaviors. We are all capable of changing a great deal in many ways if we desire to and apply ourselves. We all can. But, without that, the best predictor we have of future behaviors is past behaviors. Again, we can all change and evolve and become who we want to be... not who we used to be. All of us. It's possible with directed effort and intent.

    My husband had burned through three wives by the time I met him when he was 35 and just after divorcing the 3rd. Knowing that.. I waited 5 years before I wed him. We've been together 34 years now and he's been a very good husband to me. I'm sure his previous wives wished they had the husband I have. But I doubt he'd be the man he is for me if he'd not learned a good number of lessons from the failures of his previous marriages. I decided not to "judge" him by his 3 failed marriages.. just to take the time to get to know the man he was trying to become. Worked for me!

  • 2 years ago

    Yes very wrong

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