Im paranoid I ll be arrested for downloading and watching child pornography.?

So I m 15 and live in California and I ve viewed and downloaded child porn multiple times. I know that it seems disgusting, but I only watch videos of girls my age or a little older. It really is an addiction and I ve officially gone cold turkey. Now I m just really paranoid. Whenever I would view or download, I... show more So I m 15 and live in California and I ve viewed and downloaded child porn multiple times. I know that it seems disgusting, but I only watch videos of girls my age or a little older. It really is an addiction and I ve officially gone cold turkey. Now I m just really paranoid. Whenever I would view or download, I would use a vpn, proxy, and tor. Ive trashed, and thrown away my hard drive and replaced it. I haven t heard anything from the feds or police yet, and I ve been doing this for over 6 months. Now,I m just completely terrified of every single car door slamming on my street, anybody who knocks on my door, and any voice I hear outside. I live with my parents, and I know that if I was being monitored, the authoroties would have already gotten a subponea and retrieved the data from my ISP. I want to know if my ISP will show records me what I ve done because I used proxys, vpns, and tor. Is there a way for me to know if I m under survellance? Im just really paranoid and I just need somone to help me. I also viewed and downloaded from my phone, I still used proxys and vpns when accessing tor. Im also really paranoid because I sent links and videos to myself using emails, is there a way to just erase those? Please somebody answer my questions.
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