One thing I learned in the bible was that if I pray for something according to God's will, then he WILL give it to me, or he will do something better!
Part of that is that I need to know his will. I learned that by picking up the bible and reading it. From your post, it sounds like you have a lot of desires, be it boys, be it ambitions for careers, or freedom from your torment. While it is okay to want these things, you should put God's will for your life before them.
Jesus himself said that if possible he didn't want to die, that if his cup of suffering could pass, he wished it, but then he surrendered to God's desire and will for his life and did what he wanted. In the same way, you need to seek out God and come to desire his will for your life above your own. Did it occur to you that perhaps this boy isn't someone you should have in your life right now, or that maybe you aren't being fruitful in your path to be an actress because God wants you to ease your mother away from suicide by your attention and affection?
God isn't against you going out and educating yourself, making lots of money, getting married, having a good life, and enjoying this world. He is against the love of money, as it is the root to all kinds of evil. Desire to be an actress, but seek out the will of God first. Desire to be married, but desire the will that God has for you in a potential mate. If you want to not be broke, be diligent and save your money, not spending it on useless things. Pay your bills on time, earn credit, go to school and get a better paying job. All these things are fine, but put God and his will first, and if he is silent on the matter, make a choice that you think would reflect well on your father in heaven and his will.
He sees you and loves you. Remember that. He has a GREAT plan for you! Not only that, but if you seek him out and come to know him more, he will make you a conqueror over the issues in your life. He will put you in a place that is more fulfilling than you think your own desires will lead you into. Your life isn't falling apart, it's just starting to get awesome!