Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 years ago

Boring sex with boyfriend?

So me and my boyfriend have been together for about 3 years now.

Sex was okay at first, never really mind blowingly good but it was good still and we couldnt get enough of each other for the first year or so.

just for a long while I've been feeling bored, we hardly ever try anything new, it's always oral followed by missionary or doggy.

I did say something to him and we bought some sex toys and blindfold and handcuffs but they only get used rarely.

Even when we do use them he always asks if he can handcuff me and worried they're too tight so he spends ages fiddling with them which is a bit of a mood killer.

I know he's never going to be the kind of guy that just throws me on the bed and takes charge, but I just wish he was a bit more confident and dominant in the bedroom.

it's got to the point where I just really don't want to have sex anymore because It's just so much effort to try and get aroused when I'm not into it...I worry so much that it stops me from getting wet and then I feel bad because I don't want him to feel like he's doing a bad job or anything and then I feel bad and worry about that some more which just makes it impossible to relax and try and enjoy myself.

I do enjoy sex and masturbation btw I'm not asexual or anything which would be causing me to have this problem.

I just don't know what to do.

I love him so much but this is just becoming a real problem for me and I don't know what to do about it...

anyone have any advice please?

24 Answers

  • 2 years ago

    talk to him about it. Figure ways to spice it up

  • 2 years ago

    Dress up

  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    U need cheat on him with a black man trust me they are bigger and better and more doninant in bed.the best sex youll ever have i promise..white guys too boring in bed

    Source(s): A white girl who slept with black guy
  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    It seems that you have tried to build a relationship based purely on sex.

    Of course it pales

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  • 2 years ago

    I know how you feel. When i was with my ex it was the same way, it started to get boring after a while. We tried toys and handcuffs but i still could never get in the mood. Then i notice that i started to think of my first love (who im not completely over yet) and that was the reason why i couldn't get in the mood.

  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    Sit down and tell him everything that you just told us. Talk it out like adults.

  • 2 years ago

    find out what porn he is watching then go from that, or what kinds of pics he has on his phone,after 3 years the honeymoon phase is over, everything now requires some effort, people get comfortable around each other an things become routine, try surprising him with a ******* under the table at a resturante, or jack him off in a movie theater, heck join the mile high club ( ok bad joke on that one)

  • 2 years ago

    Listen to yourself. "Boring sex with boyfriend". "Sex was never mind blowingly good". I did say something to him. We bought some sex toys, but they only get used rarely" "I know he's never going to be the kind of guy that just throws me on the bed and takes charge". "it's got to the point where I just really don't want to have sex anymore". "I love him so much but this is just becoming a real problem for me". All these statements indicate that you two are sexually incompatible. It is a myth that all men are totally sex focused and want to pump a woman several times a day. For some men and women, relationships are mainly about good sex. For other men and women, relationships are about something deeper. The relationship is priority and sex is a bonus. It does seem that your focus is sex. Have you ever thought that your pushy demands might be giving your boyfriend performance anxiety and that could be turning him off ? However, from what you have said in your post, it does seem that the two of you are sexually incompatible. Don't rationalize your behavior by thinking you love him. You want the sex, You don't really love him. Find somebody else with the same level of sexual enthusiasm. If you don't you are going to have an acrimonious split from your boyfriend in the near future..

  • 2 years ago

    You don't seem sexually compatible. If sex means a lot to you in a relationship then break it off but i'd talk to him first . Youve been together 3 years its worth talking about

  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    How about one night, you take charge, throw him on the bed, and show him how you want it done? You then tell him, "tomorrow night you do the same to me!"

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