I need help! I'm not sure how to progress my life. It all revolves around a 7 year old relationship with my girlfriend.?
I love my girlfriend with all my heart and I want to propose to her. I've realized something that makes me a bit un easy about spending the rest of my life with this woman. From the moment I began to date her my life has subjectively gotten much worse. To begin with (which should have been a huge red flag) she hated when I spent time with my friends and hated them for taking my time away from her. She tore me away from them and my friend's tried to tear me away from her and hated me for dating her. As a result of this conflict between her and my friends I no longer have any friends except my girlfriend and I thought that was enough. She has apologized now and says she regrets everything she did. So of course how could I have not forgiven her and love her even more.
So we moved in together and I tried to get a good job and make more friends. She threatened to kill herself if I left the house for a job or friends. She started to hit me and scream at me for trivial reasons. One day our neighbors called the police because they heard fighting. The police assumed I was beating her because I am a man and she is a woman. I was nearly charged and put in prison but she confessed her crime in court and told the judge I took no part in any violence and the charges were dropped. She poured her heart out to me and begged for my forgiveness which I granted with love and a promise to always love her no matter how hard things get.
As time moved on things had only gotten worse.She has always had a bad relationship with her adoptive parents. Her mom was very abusive and her father stood by and watched. She was not loved as she should have been as a child. So she made a plan behind my back to remedy this bad relationship. She thought if she fabricated a long story of how I am an abusive boyfriend and she gets beaten daily then her mother would hold her in her arms again and love her as she has desired for so many long years.
This plan of course back fired on her and her parents were furious that she had made such poor life choices to get stuck with a guy like me. They banned her from their home forever and threatened to have me locked up for life if I ever talked to her again. My girlfriend then went to my parents and told them the story she made up. They and the rest of my family didn't believe her because they know the type of man I am and that it is not in the realm of possibility I could ever do such a thing.
So she moved to people at her job telling them all of the horrible things I supposedly did. Her co-workers then vowed to hate me forever. I was forcefully removed from my own home by her brother (who threatened to kill me) so I could not harm her any longer. Eventually she realized her mistake and missed my company so badly she decided to come clean to everyone and reveal she was just making up a story so her parents would love her.
My family knew it to be true the whole time, her family didn't care or believe she was lying and still hates her, some of her co-workers still believe it to be true. Now I am a broken man with no friends, no life skills and no idea what to do with my life and sadness so deep I am lost in it. She is the only person other than my parents that love me. We know just everything there is to know about each other.
We have a deep connection that we will not let anyone break, but maybe, I wanna break that connection. Maybe I wanna break the promise I made to her that no matter how hard things get I will love her and never leave her side. I don't wanna continue to live this way. Waiting for her to break down and turn against me as she has done so many times before. It is an endless cycle. I wanna live my life with her but she is so broken inside from so many years of abuse.
We both agree therapy would be a good idea for her but we can barely pay our rent but on time let alone afford therapy sessions. I am stuck miserably with the love of my life. Quite the paradox if you ask me. Trouble in paradise I suppose. So what do I do. Do I break away from my partner I love so deeply and become even more broken?
. I would be alone and constantly craving her love, affection, company and just her presence near me missing her more and more with every passing day, not to mention it may cause the separation our dog and cat that have loved each other their entire lives. They are our family. I really don't wanna break up our family. Or do I just continue to live my life unhappy and hurt? Never knowing when she may turn on me again. Both decisions result in unimaginable pain.
I have no clear way to happiness for both me and my girlfriend. I am lost and afraid of the future. I need help. I can't continue alone in this struggle for a life with purpose, meaning, and happiness. What do I do? How do I fix this colossal issue? If you have any positive advice or can relate to my problem and know of a solution please let me know.
Also thank you so much for reading this long BS.
- danxp2Lv 63 years ago
Please reach out to any family or friends that you can and get as far away from and stay away from this person. You are already describing things as red flags you know what to do.