Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 years ago

Girlfriend says I'm not romantic enough?

I mean, I'm definitely open to being more romantic, but, I don't even know where to go with it, we're a year in now.

I gave her stuff on her birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, and our anniversary.

Is it simply that she wants more cuddling & PDA type stuff? All she tells me is that I need to be more romantic.

It's not in my nature to do the hand holding & random hugging and stuff. What else would she want?

5 Answers

  • 2 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    If you are serious about this girl and this relationship, I encourage BOTH of you to read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Everyone has a primary way that they like love and romance expressed to them. For some people it is gifts, others physical touch, and still others may prefer words, acts of service or quality time. Until you know her love language, you are only guessing.

    When young women talk about romance, they are often thinking about the setting, mood, etc. as well as what is actually happening. For example, dinner may cost the same whether you have a picnic to watch the sunset or go to a sports bar, but the first is a lot more romantic.

  • 1 year ago

    she wants to feel that spark and reminder with the little things to make her think “oh right, this is exactly why im in love with you” she wants to feel appreciated and special, as would anyone. please treat her right and remind her things that she could do to make you feel special and appreciated as well. and no matter what, dont give up on something that feels like its worth fighting for. it will just hurt you both in the end

  • 2 years ago

    Romance is important in the beginning of a relationship when you are just beginning to date. Once you really get to know each other well, the romance doesn’t totally die, but it can still be enjoyed. It sounds to me as if you are in the right track with her. My guy and I have been together for a long time, and while we aren’t dancing on the clouds in love, we still do a lot of nice things for each other that your girlfriend might find romantic.

    1. Do something unexpected. When romance begins to feel forced, as it sounds here, you can try doing something out of the ordinary. Buy an inexpensive bunch of flowers at the grocery store and surprise her with them. If there is something she has been wanting to do for awhile, but you haven’t done, surprise her by talking about plans for that. Concert tickets. A picnic in the park. You get the idea.

    2. She might be telling you that you are in a relationship rut, so try something new. A new restaurant, a new type of food, cooking for her.

    3. Be adventurous and try new activities. Take up tennis together if you don’t play. Go bowling, maybe for the first time in your life. Visit a place near where you live that you’ve never been to before.

    4. Do something really special for her. A massage, for example. After a hard day at work of school, massage her feet and her back. She will like that. My guy and I regularly give each other massages.

    5. If you are always telling you love her by text, do it in person.

    I’m sure your girlfriend means that perhaps you have settled into a rut and that the two of you need to change things at you regularly do. Too much routine can make a relationship stale, and this might get boring. Try to think of ways to change what you are doing with her so that your relationship seems fresh and like new again. You’ll never recapture that newly-in-love feeling, but the two of you can explore how to make your relationship as new as possible. She also need to put forth the effort to make your relationship work. It’s not just about pleasing her. Good luck!


  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    If I said this to my husband what i would mean is treat me how you did when we were dating. Make me feel special and loved. Let me know you need me, not just put up with me.

    This song explains it well

    Youtube thumbnail

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  • rick
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    Romantic to women is strictly psychological. If she decides you are "romantic" there isn't much you can do that she won't take as "romantic". If she says you are not romantic enough, you are pretty much screwed. You can't do, say, or spend enough. You have been worse than "friendzoned". You've been discarded!

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